i am really enjoying our two week free courtship. you have been the perfect boyfriend and i see no reason why i should not pay for your services going forward. let's review:
1. you send me mail. i love mail. whatever happened to the old pony express, handwritten, will you go with me type relationships anyway? well big daddy you're bringing it back with a 21st century twist.
2. you allow me to be in complete control. i control when you talk, how loud you talk and what topics you discuss. if i don't like what you are dishing i can either fast forward you or stop you all together. if i'm pleased with the performance, i can make you re-perform multiple times. all while wearing my ugliest, comfiest pajamas and wrapped in my blankee on the entire couch by myself.
3. you are ever changing which goes well with my multiple personalities. if i want to laugh, you make me laugh. if i want to be romanced you give it to me. if i want to go on an adventure, you're right there. if i want to entertain my children while sleeping in at the same time - guess who the perfect boyfriend is?!?
4. i get to send you back! once the butterflies are gone and i'm pretty much bored with you....once your habits go from cute to annoying.....once you start throwing socks on the floor.....i get to wrap you up in the no postage required package that you came in and dump you in the mail drop! i can then run back to my bed and do mattress angels all. by. my. self.
so as you can see this relationship is a win win for me, as it should be. my only complaint is that you started me out with the notebook. the notebook? seriously? you know my fragile state. you must have some weird fantasies of you, me and the kleenex box. well you got them mister. let's just be a little more aware of my healthy boundaries going forward.
the end.
note - the above post is used soley for entertainment purposes and by no means represents any type of relationship that would void any contractual agreements held by the author.
5 comments:
Ah yes! I have a love very similar to netflix. It is called VUDU. The difference, I don't have to WAIT for the mail! It downloads to the VUDU hard drive and then you watch it right on your TV in about 3 minutes flat!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE it...the days of Blockbuster are OVA! !!
If this was FB I would put a big thumbs up "like it" here. But it's not so .. improvise. Love the arm drawings. Very hot.
Aaaaand I'm sold. I want it and I want it now. Nice tattoos, by the way.
I live for Netflix. I got hooked when the twins were born and I was trapped inside my house most of the day. It's how I started watching Ugly Betty and Gray's Anatomy. Netflix is kind of dangerous when it comes to getting you hooked on series... There was once a time when I had only one show that I watched: Lost. I also didn't spend any time on the home computer (let alone blog) claiming that I was on the computer all day at work. AND I didn't have children. What exactly did I do with my time? I think I went to the gym. And read books.
Love the truthfulness in this post. All things I should have considered before walking down the aisle!!!
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