the adventures of the traveling mom

adios 2010

2010-12-31T18:04:00.003-05:00

As I sit here, 6 hours from the new year, I thought I would take the time to reflect. I can't say I've ever been more excited about starting a new year. 2010 was a tough one. But instead of whining, bitching and crying - I'm going to list what I've learned this past year.

Having a happy, healthy child is the greatest gift of all.
College is more than just getting a degree and getting a job. I'm finishing my 2nd semester now and some people don't really understand why I'm busting my butt to even go. I have a great job and finally getting my bachelors probably won't make any difference financially. I initially started because I want my girls to know how important it is to go to college. However now that I'm back in the learning swing (15 years later), I realize that college is really just another important step in life. Knowledge is power indeed.
2010 has taught me to be a little more logical and little less emotional.
I need to slow down, accept that I can't do it all and most importantly not wear wedge heels.
I need to be my genuine self all of the time and people can either take it or leave it.
I can't fix people but i can nurture, teach and love my children.
Taking care of myself is not selfish, it's vital.
While living in the present is key, planning for the future is so important.
Living near my family isn't just great because of convenience and support, but the happiness it gives me is what I was missing and searching for the whole time I moved all over the country!

I hope to take all of this and evolve into a better person for 2011. I want to learn more. I want to be the best mom I can be.

Here's to a new year! Cheers!

stress blog number 101

2010-07-29T11:29:00.003-04:00

Simply stated: I.hate.mornings. It seems like all of my stress and anxiety levels are at an all time peak between 6am-9am. Why you ask? Again, because I.hate.mornings.

Ironically I'm probably a morning person....just not before 8am (9am if I have to work). A typical morning routine for me takes about 3.5 hours. THREE AND A FREAKING HALF HOURS!! I live 20 miles from my job. TWENTY MILES!!!

The first task is waking up. After forty eleven times of hitting snooze on my phone (if I actually remembered to set it for AM vs. PM, or turn it on), I force myself to get up. Oh, I think to myself, I'm glad I'm waking up in my 3 year old's twin bed while my 3 year old and 1 year old are sprawled out in my queen. I got into the twin at some inhumane time in the middle of the night after Nola woke up screaming for a bottle (yes she is 20 months old and still does this and yes I still give her a bottle....oh and yes they sleep in my bed........oh oh and yes they were up until 10:30 last night...well every night...oh oh oh and yes i passed out in the bed putting them to sleep instead of doing my homework...oh oh oh oh and YES they don't go to sleep on their own...anything else for my mother of the year application?). Back to the morning. So then I tip toe into my bathroom hoping I'll have one morning of peace where I can get ready alone...aaaaaaaand cue Nola crying. Joy. Back downstairs, fill up the bottle, change the diaper, put on the tv and into the shower. What's that I hear mid hair washing? Oh yes, that would be more Nola crying. Apparently the princess has fallen off the platform bed and needs me to pick her and her blanket (or blankik as she says) up and position her oh so gracefully back on the bed that she could easily climb up. Well her cry doesn't sound like she's lost a limb or can't breathe so I carry on with hair washing and all that jazz....yes I even shaved during the crying. Get out of the shower, place the bean back on the bed aaaaaaaaaand we have poop. Diaper change numero dos, dump the poo down the toilet as I hear the trash truck in my hood. This sound reminds me of the stinky diaper poop and chicken wing carcass trash bag in the kitchen I was planning to take out once my chillins fell asleep last night. Super!

Just as I start to blow dry my hair I hear Nola's little voice calling "muk muk muk" which translates to 'refill my bottle now woman!'. So of course like a good maid I mean mom that I am, I drop the hair dryer, get the bottle and head down the stairs. Apparently I wasn't running down the stairs half naked with wet hair fast enough because once I left the room she immediately started screaming. Fill up the milk, wave to the stinky trash bag and running up the stairs I go. By the time I finished blow drying my hair I was a vision of sweatness. So glad I just took a shower and washed my face and put moisturizer on because now my face is dripping with sweat. Sexy!

Next I get Nola dressed which feels like the farmer trying to catch the pig...because you have to catch her first....then you have to pin her down and dress her. Mission accomplished, hair brushed, Gabby's turn.

Gabby is my sleeper. She would sleep until 10 or later if you let her. My strategy with her is usually the sleep dress which wakes her up enough for me to sit her up and brush her hair. Another useful tool is the tv being on since she's a tv addict. Since it's been 105 degrees (and that's not even a nicole exaggeration) outside, we've had to evolve into daily french braids for Gabby's hair. So I'm now sitting behind her (still half naked by the way....you're welcome for the visual) french braiding her hair. While this is all going on Nola is running around with the bottle hanging from her mouth, "blankik" dragging along, acting like a crazy person. She wants up on the bed, then she gets down, rinse repeat. Gabby is still not too wild about having a little sister so any physical contact is not welcomed. Nola knows this so she chases Gabby around and Gabby is screaming "STOP TOUCHING ME, GET AWAY, MOMMYYYYYYY" while I'm trying to get dressed.

I throw on a dress that clearly should be ironed but I don't see anyone in my office cave anyway (for another blog) and I'm not going to iron because I'm already late. Jewelery, don't forget jewelry. Grab my sister's birthday present, dry cleaning bag and Nola in the other arm because (you got it), she won't go down the stairs by herself and if I go down she'll scream and I can't take anymore screaming.

Now I have to strategize my exit plan. I have 2 shoeless kids, a purse, work bag, dry cleaning bag, Gabby's pool bag for school, sister's birthday present bag and stinky trash. Cue Nola chasing Gabby around the 1st floor and Gabby screaming. I grab Nola, sit her on the foyer steps and put her shoes on. I may or may not have used a meanish tone and told Gabby to put her own shoes on RIGHT NOW. Sorry Gabby. Pick up Nola, purse, stinky trash and dry cleaning oh and birthday present and head outside into the heat. Cue mommy sweating again. Get Nola into her car seat (sweating sweating) which is full of tic tacs which entertained her yesterday aka shut her up, while talking to my boss on the phone as she's saying "nack nack nack" meaning snack. Riiiiight, breakfast. Put all of the bags minus stinky trash in the front seat and turn the car on and A/C on blast.

Run back into the house, down to the basement to get a beach towel for Gabby's pool bag aaaaaaaand forgot to turn the dryer on. Gabby is getting a dirty beach towel. Run (i'm literally running all of the times I say run people) back upstairs, stuff the dirty towel into the pool bag, grab two cereal bars, my makeup bag out of the front bathroom, push Gabby out the door and close the door.

By the time I get into the driver seat I'm a sweaty mess. Good thing I don't do makeup until I get to work! Now I have to take the girls to 2 different places because clearly I enjoy making my life more stressful, stop at the ATM to pay Nola's babysitter, drop off dry cleaners, hear about Nola's babysitter's colonoscopy yesterday, try to find Gabby's class (not in the cafeteria, not outside, not in their classroom...the library). Get back into my car and exhale.

From Gabby's school to my work it's about 10 miles. This can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. Fun times. It's even more fun when you get to work after all of this and realized you left your keys (which are not attached to my car key because that would make too much sense) at home. Meaning I'm locked out of my office and my house. Sweet! Good thing I never put the lock box key for my office back in the lock box and it's in my purse and even better thing that my mom (hopefully she can find it) has a spare key to my house.

The crazy thing is I left things out from this morning like poor Gabby woke up with monster bug bites that made her cry and then I had to find anti-itch cream while both girls cried.......and I had to check my bank account while Nola chased Gabby....and we had to brush teeth and floss....and go potty...and I'm sure there is other stuff I blocked out.

Somehow I do this most days of the week plus the evenings are like the same as above but in reverse. Somehow I am also going to school. Most nights I don't pass out with the girls and I'm up super late doing homework or studying. My house work is totally neglected, I've lived in my townhouse for 3 months and just hung a few pictures last week, I've killed the only 2 potted plants I have, I don't get to watch any tv on my new big beautiful tv, my DVR is always full, i never have time to blog or read my favorite blogs........but I'm happy.

the end.

p.s. I noticed that my last post (almost 4 months ago, so sad) was number 100...hence the title.

Easter 2010

2010-04-04T21:23:00.004-04:00

We had a great day eating candy, attempting to take photos, eating more candy, hanging out at nana & pops and eating more and more candy. As I type this Gabby is passed out on my bed (which never happens) and Nola is in a sugar crash coma in her crib.

Today's weather could not have been more beautiful. The only thing missing was my new nephew Lucien Henry, born March 25th. Unfortunately he's still in the nicu but I'm confident he'll be home real soon.

Here are a few photos as I have nothing left to say. The sugar has caused temporary (hopefully) brain damage. Also stay tuned for photos from my mom but for now...

blame it on facebook

2010-03-28T20:43:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make. It's really not that hard to make because I know I'm not alone. Especially given the fact that 99% of the 3 people that read this silly blog probably checked their facebook before reading this post.

My name is Nicole and I am a facebook addict. Deep down I know it's a dirty addiction but I just can't stop. Admittedly, my social networking problem definitely put a wrench in my blogging....and tv watching....and housekeeping....and children rearing and probably even sleeping.

Even when I'm not on facebook it's somehow affecting my life. The kids will do something funny or I'll do something clutzy (shocking i know), and the first thing I think of is putting it as a facebook status. SICK!! When I sign on I go back as far as possible to make sure I don't miss anything. You know because it's really important to know what some person I haven't seen since I was 18 had for dinner.

In all seriousness this whole facebooking, twittering, blogging thing has to have huge societal impacts. I have no doubt it's already a required course for sociology majors. Our brains are not supposed to hold such useless information. Like I shouldn't know right now that a girl I worked with over 10 years ago has a bladder infection. I also should not be in contact with so many blast from the past people. We're supposed to evolve. I shouldn't know that my college boyfriend is glad that he finally keeps track of his current girlfriend's menstrual cycle. This useless information is preventing me from retaining important info like my kids names and birthdays.

On top of the brain dysfunction, there is also the hair loss and blood pressure rising. These being due to some of the "friends" I have that say, in my opinion, this most idiotic and ignorant things that get my blood boiling. I'm not the type of person that can just read something I disagree with and brush it off. I get so frustrated and worked up. Sometimes I can't hold back and I respond and only get myself more worked up. I finally made a first step towards recovery last week and hid comments on some of those very "friends". I felt like such a big girl....but deep down I'm so worried I'll miss something. Baby steps.

There certainly are positives to the facebook world we live in. I've reconnected with some amazing friends and family members. It's a great way to stay in touch. I just need to learn how to manage my facebooking at a healthy level so that I'm not at risk of having child services come take my children and/or losing all of my hair.

the end.

wedgie

2010-03-25T21:39:00.003-04:00

I ended 2009 a 5K running fool. I was so proud of myself. Who knew I could actually set a goal and accomplish it? Between running and the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred dvd I was in full workout addiction mode and loving every minute of it.

Then came December 29, 2009. Coming off of a wonderful low stress Christmas, not having to travel. By this time I had been working out, training, etc. for about 5 months and feeling really fit. Apparently the fitness had gone to my head a little bit.....

On that day, as usual, I was trying to do way too much in way too little time. I worked out at lunch time and had to be downtown DC later in the afternoon. I decided, as any responsible business woman short on time would, that my outfit wasn't suitable and that 30 minutes was plenty of time to run across the street to Marshalls, find something to wear, go back to my office, change, run back across the street to the metro and make my x o'clock train. Actually, let's be realistic here....the way my emotionally induced brain works is I looked at myself in the mirror and headed to Marshalls. Identifying how much time I really have would be way way to strategic for my blood.

So I get to Marshalls and start out in the shoes, as always.....and nothing. Ok, I'll have to work with the knee high black suede boots with a wedge heel. Pants? Too risky, especially given I have the legs of a 4'3 chick and I'm 5'6. I'll have to work with the black leggings. My only remaining hope? Long sweater section. At this point the person I was meeting called to say they were on their way. Shit. So I'm sorting through sweaters like my life depends on it. When there like the Willy Wonka golden ticket, my sweater shines through. BCBG, perfect length, perfect color and can someone say clearance? Holla! So I run to the line which was thankfully only a few people deep, pay my $20 and I'm on my way. Speed walking my way back to the office. Bust through the door, rip off my unworthy sweater, pop off the glorious clearance tag, snap, coat, purse, laptop bag, and I'm out.

The DC metro system is a beautiful thing, once you understand it. Upon entering the ticketing area they have digital sign boards that read how many minutes until the next train. F, I just missed the train I wanted. I swipe my metro card, head down the broken escalator and realize the train is there. So I start running down the escalator and get half way through when I hear the magic announcement that the doors are closing. Without thinking (clearly), I decided to jump the last 3 escalator stairs to try and make the train. As if in slow motion, I took a beautiful ballerina-esq jump with my right foot. While airborne, my work laptop bag slipped off my shoulder quickly turning my gracefulness into tragedy. The rest is kind of a blur but the next thing I knew I was in the fetal position on the landing of the escalator and the crowd went silent.....making the large pop sound in my ankle/foot even more audible. A nice man helped carry me to the bench and took my boot off and had me rotate my ankle. It hurt like really really bad but since I was able to rotate I figured it was just sprained. Honestly I had no idea what I figured because in my 33 years of existence, I had never broken a bone or seriously sprained anything.

I decided to squeeze my boot back on and tough it out to my meeting. I limped my way through the next several hours and it was just getting worse and worse. By the time I had my mom pick me up at the metro station near home i was practically crawling to the car. Once I took my boot off my foot swelled up like a balloon. An ER visit and follow up orthopedic visit later, I'm told I've broken my first bone in my foot. Joy. Thankfully some really awesome cast designer invented the air cast so I was immediately able to walk. Unfortunately it was my right foot so I wasn't able to drive for 6 weeks which turned out to be the longest 6 weeks of my life! Online grocery shopping and the metro were my new best friends.

Fast forward to March 24th, yesterday. I'm about 6 weeks out of my air cast and finally feeling normal in my right foot again. Slowly getting back to running and working out. I've been traveling a lot for work, making up for the 6 weeks I was out of commission in that department. Plus it's just a busy time of year for me.

I had to go to Rockaway, NJ yesterday. The best way to go from DC to NY is the acela express train on amtrak. It's the bomb. 2.5 hours, big comfy seats, wifi, cafe car - perfection. Since I had to go to NJ, I took the train home from Newark so I wouldn't have to deal with rush hour NYC traffic. Nothing in NY or NJ is easy. I know first hand from living there many years ago. I had to take the rental car to Newark airport and then take a cab from the airport to the train station. Why not fly home you ask? I explored this option and tickets were ridonkulous, plus like I said the train is awesome. No security, no being there an hour before, I can pack my whole suitcase full of liquids and I don't have to wear a seat belt and I can use my cell phone. Of course the cab ride ends up being right in the prime time of rush hour and I ask the cab driver if he can make miracles happen and get me to the station for a 5:15 train. Next thing I know we're driving 80 miles an hour down back allies and through kiddie pool size potholes...but I didn't care! I was going to make it! It's 5:07 and he drops me off on the corner. Mind you this is my first time to Newark's amtrak station....and remember nothing in Jersey is easy. So I'm sprinting with my suitcase on wheels, laptop bag on my shoulder, purse on my wrist and my cute new wedge heels on my feet. I have to sprint around the building to the main entrance. I quickly notice Amtrak's door is 3 and i open the door and sprint up the 2 flights of steep steps. It's 5:12 and the train is there. By this time I'm completely out of breath and sweating. I ask the conductor if I can buy a ticket on board and she says (very new jersey expressionless) "no, reservations only"...."where do i buy reservations?" "the station" with a point. So I'm sprinting towards the station which I then realize, of course, is downstairs where I started. Goodbye train. Hello Newark train station.

The next train isn't for an hour. Fuck. Here I am sweating, coughing, out of breath and surrounded by homeless, scary people. I just wanted to cry. In addition, had I made the 5:15 train it would have been a reasonable enough time to get my girls. Double Fuck. The mom guilt never ends.

So I do what any other responsible mother slash business mom would do and blackberry message all of my friends, facebook about how i'd rather unicycle on the nj turnpike than ever have to return to the newark train station and read twitters. The hour goes by faster than I thought and I'm feeling much better.

Once I get on the most wonderful train in the world, everything is a-ok.....and once I get my dinner (1/2 bottle of wine and a bag of trail mix) life is good. I got a lot of work, facebooking and chatting out of my system and before you know it I'm back in the best place on earth, home.

The weather felt so much warmer (and cleaner) than NJ. Ahhhhhh, home at last. What's even better? My mom was picking me up at Union Station so no more trains. Walking through Union Station is always one of my favorite DC spots. It's gorgeous. I remember thinking how lucky I am to live here. I made it to the front doors, head out and I'm on my way to the pick up area. Doo da doo, just strolling along when out of no where the ground drops and I'm on the side of my foot. FUCK!!! I literally said that out loud. I quickly realized that the sidewalk had ended and I managed to walk off the curb and land on the side of my wedge heel donned foot. It was like complete deja vu. I limped back up to the curb and another nice man help me sit down.

How could this happen again? It can't, I thought...no, I'm just overly sensitive and everything will be fine. I stood up and quickly realized, no everything won't be. I lost it. Between the excruciating pain shooting through my foot and my exhausting day and my flat out anger, I was a tear shooting mess. My poor mother got the first of it. WHERE ARE YOU?!? , I screamed at her in the phone I JUST BROKE MY FUCKING FOOT AGAIN!!! She hung up, smart lady ;)

So another ER visit and orthopedic visit later, I sprained my ankle pretty bad. The good news is it's not broken and will hopefully heal quicker. The bad news is it hurts so much worse than the break and I'm not even at the point where I can wear the air cast. I want to take the 2nd pair of crutches I now own and throw them out of the window. I've tried the Nola crawl on my knees and I don't know how that kid does it. That shit hurts!

So that's my story. Girls, I really hope you don't inherit mommy's gracefulness.....however I think Gabby has already shown signs. The moral of the story? Down with the wedge heel. My orthopedic told me that the wedge heel keeps him in business. Grrr, they're so cute and comfortable and I thought i was being smart not wearing traditional heels. Who knew?

the end.

my report card

2010-03-24T23:55:00.003-04:00

Well hello. Remember me? Is anyone still out there? Well regardless, my purpose for blogging was/is to have something for my girls when they're older.....and to remember the memories....and well, for the 2010 grading period so far I get a big fat F. Not just a standard F, but a big fat juicy oozing stinky F full of warts and fungus and gingivitis.

You see 2010 really did start out great...good breath and all. Even after breaking my foot at the end of December (i still need to blog that story), things were looking up. Break schmreak. I was feeling established and loved and at home and accomplished and just all around happy.

Then the bad breath started to lurk. Things were going wrong...not even things that should have made that much of an impact but it's funny how life works. All of the little things were adding up fast and snowballing....and every time I felt hope of things getting better BAM something crappy would happen again.

However in spite of all of this, and without going into all of the boring details (because we know I don't know how to abbreviate......which reminds me of something one of my friends says to me when he wants me to get to the point "nicole - don't elaborate, abbreviate!"), I have gained an incredible amount of self awareness over the past few months. It's like I've kind of relived all of the crazy stages in my life and forced myself to really remember them and think why the F did I do and not do some things.

So girls, in summary, one of the things I want most for you more than anything else is that you are happy with you.....that you don't feel like you need other people to make you truly happy. Once you are in that place, like I am now, you'll realize that the people that you do choose to be in your life are there because they add something extra.....not because you think they fill in the missing pieces.

So somehow this post went from being my typical goofy to serious....but I'm going to just keep it the way it is and save the goofy for tomorrow.....because let me tell you, I have lots of goofy!

this could be my last post

2010-01-21T10:01:00.003-05:00

As I sit here writing what may be my last post, my eyes scan the radius of my office cave to make sure I'm alone. A cold shiver instantly goes down my spine as I glance over at a picture of her......my hit man......my 3 year old daughter. How could this beautiful angelic child that I created and nurtured be so diabolical? All of the pieces are coming together. My daughter has strategically been plotting my death since birth.....but I won't go down without a fight.

It all started 3 years ago. Looking back now I realize that 22 hours of labor wasn't because I was a new mom with bad luck. Nope, that was her first attempt on my life. She thought 'let me wait in here as long as possible so she can starve to death or better yet have a brain aneurysm'. She lost that fight. Then in an effort to cover her tracks, when she couldn't wait any longer, she did the ole' shoulder stuck trick on the trip out with a little chord burst action. Clearly she was trying to cause mass hysteria to take away from her foiled plan.

I think she then realized she needed to be more strategic and calculating. She would spend the next few years winning me over with cute firsts and hugs and kisses. Oh she was keeping her enemy close alright.

But then with the little sister came, she couldn't wait any longer. That's when I started noticing the signs. The slip and fall attempts included: the strategically placed mini shoe and/or toy in my normal path of travel, the intentional bath water splashing all over the floor when I'm not looking and the trickling of sippy cup juice on my hardwood floors. Obviously those attempts have been unsuccessful thus far with only a few bruises and scrapes here and there.

Lucky for my little assassin, I broke my foot a few weeks ago. I haven't been able to pin that incident on her but the case is still open. However this opens a whole new realm of destruction that she can cause.

Most recently she waits until I've taken my boot off to "fall" and scream and need me ASAP. Being the wonder mom that I am, I leap to her rescue, before remembering I'm not protected by the air cast. Try as she might though, I'm still standing, albeit on one leg.

This brings me to last night. Her most calculated attempt thus far. She knows sister little is the worst sleeper and wakes Mommy up in the middle of the night. Sleeping my ass, that little monster has been logging the feeding times to get it just right. She also must have noted that Mommy doesn't put the boot on or turn the lights on when going into the kitchen for the bottle. 3:40 AM and Sleepless Beauty is screaming. I wait a few minutes only to realize it's the real deal. As usual, I push myself out of the bed using my hands and one foot and limp along with one eye still sleeping towards the kitchen. Before I can even react, I'm sent flying into the air as I run into something hard and land on something even harder. That little witch. She created the great wall of Gabby with her table, chairs, seat, toys and high chair. There was no way I could have escaped. Luckily, my hand landed first and broke my fall. I quickly looked over into my would be killers room and all I saw were to white slits for eyes staring at me. Mistake? I think not.

Luck has gotten me this far but it's bound to run out. My time is ticking. I just really hope I make it to see the entire final season of Lost.

the end.

goodbye 2009...hellooooo new decade!!!

2010-01-02T13:34:00.004-05:00

The end of year holidays this year were awesome. Highlights:

not having to take planes, trains or really long drives in automobiles to visit family
Gabby being old enough to get really excited about Santa
Reconnecting with lots of old friends
Mom's crab dip
Being able to buy baby boy presents for my future nephew
Gabby's pre-school holiday program where she recited Star Light Star Bright
Incredibly amazing shopping deals a la the recession
My dad having lots of time off work

Lowlights:

My sister Cristine and her beau Michael not being able to visit from Cali
Breaking my foot and spraining my ankle (story for another blog)
Not having any time off left for work and being incredibly busy

In summary, I'm incredibly excited for 2010. Things are already looking up and can only get better. 2009 was a pretty intense year but I'm grateful for all of the ups and downs. I've gained so much self awareness and have a much better grasp on what I want out of this thing called life. Gabby is turning into such a little lady and Nola is definitely not a baby anymore.

I've spent the last 15 years on the run....moving from one state to another both geographically and personally. What I've learned this past year is that everything I want, everything I need is right where I started. It took some adjusting and I certainly wouldn't have the level of appreciation and awareness had I not lived all over.....but being with my family, my parents, is the best medicine a girl could have. I went from seeing my parents a couple times a year to seeing them every single day....and now I know that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy New Year everyone! 2010 is it!

gabbyisms

2009-12-27T20:48:00.009-05:00

I've totally been slacking on this thing. My visions of a complete collection of entries for my girls to read one day when they're not embarrassed of me anymore is now a blank page...ok maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration.

In all honesty - I got nothin. My brain capacity is maxed out between work, diapers, travel, drama, and lots and lots of 3 year old questions.

In the spirit of Christmas and in an effort to maintain my cool points with my sister, lady fizz...this is my feeble attempt at writing a post.

Actually, I really shouldn't take any credit at all......props go out to Gabalicious, aka Gabby Goo, aka Gabby Love, aka G Money, on this one. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The girl is funny. I really should take notes when she busts one out because there are so many it's impossible to remember them all. Here goes:

I have a brain in my head so I can think about you.

Mommy, you're my best friend in the whole world now can you get me some apple juice?

Santa lands his sleigh on the roof?!? That sounds very dangerous!

(legs crossed into a pretzel, hands squeezing the nether region, face turning yello, screaming at a high pitch) Mommy I have to go to da bathfroom!!! (carry pretzel girl into the bathroom) Don't worry Mommy I didn't pee in my pants, it's just a tinkle.

Underpit (arm pit)

Oh for the love of sake! (gabby's mix on goodness sake and for the love...)

Mommy do you know what bogus means? It means you're busted. (have no clue where this one is from)

What vegetable are you going to be for Christmas? (Halloween inspired?? i think??)

Mommy can I have a snack? (me - do you want yogurt?) no thanks. (me - how about a christmas tree cake?) Thats what I'm talkin about.
(Driving, I look into the rear view mirror and Gabby has one hand stretching down the side of her mouth and eye lid....once she notices me looking she says in a very deep and slow voice...) I'm Quazimoooooto. (i amlost crashed)

(Pop picks up Gabby from school and asks Gabby if she had fun playing with Victoria) No Pop, her name is BIG-toria...say it with me Biiiiigtoria....not little-toria, BIGtoria.

Mommy you make the best macaroni and cheese in the whole uniberse. (thank you Kraft)

I have a boyfriend and his name is Jaz. (no idea who Jaz is but Lord help me!)

I have to take a bath because I don't smell good.

Boring, Boring, Boring.

Mommy, can you blow dry my hair and make it look faboolus?

Mommy, can you take my socks off? I'm lazy.

Daddy, are you gonna dance with me or anything??? (instead of or what)

For Christmas a want a new brand toy.

Daddy, what is that awful smell? I need a bandaid for my nose.

Fink and style (frankenstein)

Maggie and the rofus beef (maggie and the ferocious beast)

nola 4 eyes

2009-11-10T14:59:00.003-05:00

"Goo goo ga ga.....look at me....I'm a cute baby with glasses....."

"Yeah...you think this is really funny...ok I'll laugh and smile and play along but let's not take it to the next level"

"Don't mess with me Willis"

"I'm always watchin...."

"Freakin fanelly....how many times do I gotta splain to you. Do you speak english?!? Let me give it to you slow. I.....Don't......Wear......Glasses"

"Hey will you look at that....jerk my head a little....the glasses fall down my nose and I can see again.......and everyone thinks I'm funny....hmmmm...maybe I should play this up.....baby wants a candy bar for dinner...."

"Everybody....look at me...laugh at me......now how bout dat candy bar?!?"

Photography by: Marilynn Spindler (best photographer in the world)

i did it

2009-10-25T22:03:00.003-04:00

I did it!! I ran my first 5k yesterday. Thanks to my blog friend who turned me onto the couch to 5k training program.....i followed the whole program to a T and ran my 5K at the end of week 8.

I definitely have the running bug now. It was really hard because I've been training on flat surfaces and there were some killer hills which I didn't know about....but glad I didn't because I probably would have chickened out.

So I'm ready to master the 5k and then start training for the 10k. Running has become a huge stress reliever for me and it's something I can do during lunch at work or when I'm traveling....because as a working mom that's really my only me time.

So thanks again PWDT!!! I bloggy love you and can't wait to meet up for our destination race this spring.

two is better than one...really....i swear

2009-10-25T21:44:00.003-04:00

Dearest Nola,
I suck. I mean, I don't really suck but when you're 18 and you look back on these blogs and see that 80% of the coverage was during Gabrielle's first 2 years - then yes I suck.

See the thing is, I love you equally...I really do. However, as a result of you being the second child...I don't need to nor do I have the time to prove to the world that I'm super mom.

So when Gabrielle looks back at the massive amounts of pictures of her 1st birthday with a bounce house in the front yard and a custom birthday cake along with a #1 smash cake and tries to say "nannee nannee boo boo....mommy and daddy loved me more because i can't even find pictures from your first birthday".....just come to momma and I'll take you shopping and buy you a pony or something.

So Nola, please accept this blog post as my eternal advance apology for you getting the short stick for being the 2nd child. Perhaps you already knew this as you took 10 months to sleep through the night and Gabrielle only took 8 weeks. Not that I'm keeping score or anything ;)

You'll always be my first and only blue eyed baby girl.

one two three

2009-09-30T20:29:00.009-04:00

Once Upon A Time in a land far away from the state of Indiana, a little princess named Gabrielle....
turned three years old. Her great grandmother, the Queen of Southern Maryland, hosted a celebratory gathering at her castle "Condominium". All of the Princess' family and friends came to celebrate the blessed event.
Princess Gabrielle chose to celebrate her birthday, in true royal fashion, with a Sir Sponge Bob Square Pants of Bikini Bottom Island theme. As such, she donned her bikini as a tribute.
Princess Gabrielle enjoyed lots and lots of gifts from her party guests. She seemed especially partial to her first dollar bills. She taught her younger cousins the old tradition passed down from generations ago called "making it rain".Princess Gabrielle's grandmother, the Queen of Alexandria and renowned Artist, actually made the cake with her very own skilled hands....no help from the help. The party guests ooo'd and ahhhh'd at her latest creation.

Alas the party was a success.

The end.

holy hystericalness

2009-09-04T20:43:00.001-04:00

http://peopleofwalmart.com/

i guess i'm a phan

2009-08-16T20:33:00.005-04:00

i went to the phish show here last night and had an awesome time.

i knew nothing about phish until bryan..... and even though i always enjoyed the shows and the music i guess i always thought of it as being his thing. last night i realized it isn't just his thing, it's my thing too....and it felt good.

my 25 year old cousin Joey came with me and he was the perfect date. he's the life of the party but also very concerned about everyone having a good time. this was his first phish show which was really exciting for me. he fit right in with the hippies. we immediately befriended this guy from buffalo that had just driven 7 hours from the show the night before to get there...by himself. he had been to most of the shows from both legs of the tour. this is when i started to realize i'm really a fan because i knew the set lists from the other shows and we were talking shop. i thought to myself "who am i? maybe i should start dreding my armpit hair or something?"........then i remembered how much i enjoy personal hygiene and wearing a bra and snapped back to reality.

i do love the hippies though. so happy and loving and blissfully oblivious to the fact that jon had to call the police on kate the night before or the "news" that kourt kardash is preggers.

hippie case in point.....joey and i thought we were getting there so early at 4:30 but clearly it had been years since my last phish show. we were in a 30 minute log jam for the last 1/2 mile getting into the venue. you know the kind where 4 lanes have to turn into 1? well being the aggressive new york driver i am, using my 'only worry about the guy in front of you' technique, i shimmied my way into the last lane. the guy i was getting in front of wasn't so jazzed about my shimmy and proceeded to honk his horn and speed up like a wise guy. little did he know that i lived in queens and was on the marksmanship team in the 4-H and nothing was going to stop me from getting in front of him. plus, hello it's a phish show...where's the love? once all the way in line, my cousin gently reminded me that the wise guy would probably be parking next to me. "oh" i said, and then laughed it off. sure enough wise guy parked right next to me. before i even got out of the car, the angry hippie appeared. "just so you know", he says "i'm a nice guy....but if i weren't a nice guy i would be really pissed off about you cutting me off with no signal or anything....but i'm a nice guy...so just so you know.". i just smiled and proceeded to get out of the car and in my best effort not to completely bite my tongue off, said i was sorry. it was, after all, a phish show and i wasn't going to let this oxymoron of a man get me down. he, his wife and his hippie wing man then set off into the lot with their bongo drum and hoola hoops. a few porto potty visits and beers later, they returned.....looking way more hippie. the once angry road rager immediately approached me and made an amends by offering his peace pipe to joey & i. only at a phish show!

i guess i was always spoiled with pavillion seats and V.I.P parking and V.I.P bathrooms because being in the lawn and parking 5 miles away was definitely a different experience.....and had it been an angry show like eminem or korn i probably would not have enjoyed being that intimate with 30,000 sweaty people. but it was phish....and we all danced, and sang, and marveled at the light show and the always stellar improvisational skillz these musicians possess.

despite the somewhat disappointing set lists, joey really appreciated the music and the experience. i think he's a phan in the making.......and aside from the show, it was very cool to have some one on one time with 1 of my 30 cousins because that rarely happens!

when i was trolling joey around the lot describing each category of phan like 'those are hippies that travel from show to show and don't have tickets but they sell quesadillas from their hot plates' or 'that's the nerdy guy who has an IT job and could tell you every song they've played on this tour so far...and will be taking notes at the show'. so i guess now if you see me at a show you could say 'that's the working mom that rolls on chromed out almost dubs and listens to hip hop but also had a phish wish set list scribbled on a post it note at work'.

the end.

toddler comedy

2009-08-14T21:27:00.004-04:00

my girl is funny....i wish the cameras were rolling 24/7 because she is on her game all the time.

let me set the scene. we're watching tv (sponge bob, i know shocker)...and she turns to me with a very animated face and voice and says "there is something at grandma's house......... sponge bob square pants!" and the way she said it was freaking hysterical. so then i get the camera and try to recreate...you get an idea but nothing is better than the original. still very entertaining though.

bbf

2009-08-09T22:26:00.003-04:00

sometimes when i'm feeling really down and sorry for myself i check myself and say "self?! shut the front door! you have two beautiful daughters, amazing parents, a grandmother that's on facebook, countless aunts, uncles, cousins & 2nd cousins, so many great friends and a deena!" that's right , i have a deena.

deena and i have been best friends for 25 years (also pronounced 'qunnie fie yers' in southern maryland dialect.).

so as a tribute to my deena, i'd like to take it old school year book style and well i don't even know what it's called so here goes..

B - is for bearded, bus and bologna. Deena and I met when we were 8 years old on bus #36 driven by Ms. Bologna the bearded bus driver who yelled at us a lot and ultimately separated us....so yeah B also stands for bitch....but that bitch didn't keep us apart. ;)

E - is for exotic and the R is for rap so tell them otha people just to stay the hell back, supersonic. (one of the after school "videos" we produced back in the middle school days)

S - is for station wagon. my mom used to let me drive the station wagon (aka green machine) to deena's house before i got my license because a. it was in the same neighborhood and b. i was going to deena's house, hello?!?

T - is for time. deena will always give her time for others. alternatively, looking back on the last 25 years...every time i've had a crisis deena has been there for me. she is my constant.

F - is for french fries....the frozen kind.....with lots of salt and most importantly a mustard/ketchup combo dip.

R - is for recitals. deena and i played many organ recitals for each other. we also sang a mean duet, however my chords seemed to be the only ones heard in the tapes we would make....which isn't a good thing.

I - is for the illest hair boof on the planet. the girl had talent.

E - is for ESP because that's how well deena knows me. she's the only one that can call me out on the phone for not really listening to her. she knows when i'm just putting on a "funny" face to not deal with reality. most importantly she knows what to say.

N - is for nose. deena is the only one that can get me laughing so hard that i project food from my nose.

D - is for deena, DRE, funky comadeena, deenie weenie, dino.....there is no other!

S - is for sisters. i think after 25 years of friendship you can officially be considered sisters because that's what she is to me!

so don't be tryin to steal my deena after this well crafted homage. oh one more thing. who else would think to bring me birthday cupcakes with boob candles to the dave matthews concert last night....deena!

p.s. if deena had written this there would have been much better photo documentary going on

single parenting for dummies - table of contents

2009-08-04T22:50:00.004-04:00

Chapter 1...................You Can Sleep When You're Dead
Chapter 2...................Caffeine By Day, Beer By Night
Chapter 3...................Your House Is Dirty, Accept It
Chapter 4...................Baby Wipes, Not Just For Your Kids Ass
Chapter 5...................Goodbye Steak, Hello Ramen Noodles
Chapter 6...................Embracing Alternative Methods of Sexual Gratification
Chapter 7....................Maximizing Family Resources for Babysitting and Free Food
Chapter 8....................Exploiting Your Situation For Personal Gain
Chapter 9....................It's Ok, The Toddler Can Eat and Sleep In Your Bed
Chapter 10..................Helpful Tips and Tricks to Drown Out The Crying
Chapter 11...................24 Hours Is The New 5 Second Rule
Chapter 12..................Don't Believe The Expiration Date Hype
Chapter 13..................Hand Washing and Teeth Brushing Are Overrated

summer luv

2009-08-03T22:30:00.005-04:00

i'm a summer baby.....i live for summer. i had convinced myself, living in indiana for 6 years, that the weather was the same there. ha. apparently that was some type of coping mechanism to deal with the so not east coast weather. every weekend here has been sunny and hot. i've got my tan on (thank you baby pool) and my AC on blast.

i love the freedom of summer....like as in i only have to slip on my flip flops right quick to go outside and check the mail. not that i have to go outside and check the mail, or that i can do anything quick as it relates to going outside since i have two humans...but that was the first thing that popped into my single on the inside head.

one of my favorite summerisms are summer nights....driving with the windows down, the sounds of the cicadas (right?) outside.....and most of all no sweaters required!

my only dislike of summer, especially in these parts, are the fecking mosquitos. i'm like a magnet for those things and apparently my offspring have my same blood type. poor nola has two giant ones on her face. it looks like homegirl was in a baby fight at the babysitters and the other baby won.

so with that said i dedicate this post to nola bean and all her beautifulness.....oh and i'll throw one in of miss thang...

road trip

2009-07-20T09:55:00.005-04:00

want to know the secret to a long road trip by yourself with an infant and a toddler? when they start getting antsy, just let them drive.

oh me God drake bell

2009-07-15T23:15:00.004-04:00

i took my niece chloe to six flags to see drake bell in concert....and of course ride roller coasters!!

who is drake bell you ask? like oh my God for real?!? he's only the star of drake and josh on nickelodeon, duh!

taking a picture driving 80 mph on 95 like any responsible cool aunt would do

from the orthodontist to six flags....poor baby totally has my teeth....hence the need for some serious one on one spoiling from aunt nicky!

and with the spoiling comes letting the 8 year old pick the order of the rides...no surprise that consists of getting drenched first (teeth, teeth, remember the teeth)

from water rides to roller coasters baby....clearly aunt nicky forgot to pack a comb

did someone say drake bell? oh he's so dreamy...or whatever the cool kids say these days.

i think she's excited

ok i was too even though i had horrible hair by this point ;)

stuffed pet cemetary

2009-07-15T22:49:00.002-04:00

so gabby's new "thing" is to make beds for all of her stuffed animals all over the house. she puts a lot of time and effort into it. so i'm thinking either interior decorator or mortician?

girlees

2009-07-15T22:24:00.002-04:00

some recent shots of my chicas

bumpt it up yo

2009-07-12T22:46:00.003-04:00

please God can you gift me with a ridiculous invention that will make me millions and take minimal brain power? like have me sleep walk into the bathroom and dig out the old banana clip and have me set it sideways on the top of my head and call it a bump it. however, i ask that the gift that you would so graciously give me not contribute to a bad hair nation.

can someone please tell these women to stick with the before look..

sweat peas that will rock you

2009-06-20T17:40:00.005-04:00

pre gabby's concert debut.....lookin all purdee......

i think she's gonna be a blondie....gabby had dark dark hair at this age and look how light it is now....

marching out for her debut at the kindergarten graduation...she's still 2 people!

sorry, this isn't the video of her performance because it's way too big.....but this is nola performing at chloe's concert a few days later......

girls gone farm

2009-06-17T21:21:00.004-04:00

the chickadees had an extended weekend with their daddy and grandparents on the farm...equipped with sponge bob farmer hat and all...

excuse me?

and we're back.....this is what i found watching tv in mommy's unmade bed....this never happens...good work daddy, grandma and poppa!

wow

2009-06-15T11:02:00.005-04:00

so i'm not usually a charity pusher but this really hit close to home plus the auction items are so cool.....i think i just bid on 4 or so. you can read into it for yourself but basically this woman, carol, had an emergency c-section a year ago and due to complications has had both legs amputated to the knee, an arm amputated and is blind. 100% of the auction proceeds go towards the rehab she needs ($80K) which isn't covered by insurance. there are also links on the page showing media coverage, etc.

check it out and don't outbid me! ;) here are some of the goodies....

the end.

http://www.auctionforcarol.blogspot.com/

west virginia is the new greek

2009-06-10T22:12:00.009-04:00

i'm back people. i know all 2 of you were worried. i took the train back and all is well.

so the reason for my trip to NYC was for my beautiful greek goddess friend stella's wedding. stella married jeremy who is from west virginia. i was really pumped for some great blog material. you know like the off the boat greek vs. west virginian banjo playing dance off or something. unfortunately the west virginia peeps proved all of the stereotypes wrong and were quite polished. actually when i think about it the 3 people and their families that i know from west virginia have more class than i do so defiance schemiance.

anywho back to the wedding. can i please die and come back greek? i want to kiss pictures of greek saints in greek churches and know all of the gang signs they do during the ceremony. i also want to be able to speak greek 500 miles a minute. i also want to look greek and have greek babies. i also really love feta cheese so it's a win win.

the beautiful bride and her pops....

my dates nichole and her hubs shuber

shuber's standard photographic pose

my bestie and bridesmaid jessica.....lookin hawt!

let the greek dancing begin......another reason for me to reincarnate as a greek...can we say soul train?!?

add showers of dollar bills all night on top of the soul train effect and i'm sold...make it rain on em greek daddy!

this is stel's mom....she has the most beautiful milky white flawless skin.....i sat a few rows behind her at the wedding and thanks to her i am ready to finish removing my tattoo and realized i don't want another one (well at least where it's visible)....all i could think of during the ceremony was me being the mother of the bride for my girls with a big tattoo hanging out of my dress. thank you stella's mom....my mother thanks you too ;)

so i absolutely fell in love with jeremy's mother. she is one of those people that you are immediately drawn to. she is so endearing and it's obvious jeremy takes after her. they danced to stevie wonder's you are the sunshine of my life and it was the sweetest, happiest mother son dance i've ever seen!

some gratuitous dance shots....

and now for the sexy face contest.......nichole (other nichole) always freakin wins...she's a natural....jessie and i? not so much..haha

mrs. sex pot herself..

jessica pulling in a close second tonight...must be the hair and makeup ;)

and finally yours truly....wtf?! i must have confused sexy with psycho..yeah, thats it...

post reception.....we're so proud shuber made it through....will he make it to the after pary ladies and gentleman??? the odds are stacked against him...

but awwww snap, he came back strong!! gotta show him some finger pointing love...

it's 4am and i'm feeding myself not a baby! whoop whoop!

that's one angry latino....

the end.

the traveling will

2009-06-05T20:52:00.002-04:00

This quite possibly could be the last post I ever write. No one reads this blog so once I'm gone long enough and my mom says hey didn't she have this thing on the internet where she aired all of her dirty laundry then maybe it will be found and posted on the refrigerator for posterity.

I digress.

I'm on my way to nyc. Yes exciting stuff well except for the part where lost all brain function when I decided to take the bus!! Yes the mother fucking bus. My mother is now cringing as she reads her dead daughter's last words but I'm sorry mom you would drop the f bomb too if you had already logged in 5 hours on a should have been 4 hour trip and you are only at exit fucking somewhere in new jersey that I can't see because of the torrential downpour.

Please tell me where I left my brain. I travel all of the time for work. I should know better. So here is my public service list of reasons taking the bus is so cheap

1. They don't put the air conditioner on until the bus departs. You are required to arrive on the bus 15 mins early. There are big hairy men on the bus. Enough said.

2. I have almost died eleventeen times.

3. Amtrak doesn't have traffic that causes the train to take 3 hours to get through Baltimore

4. There are no tray tables flight attendants snacks blankets pillows.

5. Cell phones work and people keep the ringers on full blast and talk at I'm talking over a bus engine volume

6. Bus bathroom enough said

7. The seats are essentially card board with a little foam

Ok I could go on and on. Lesson learned. I'm a snob and I'm proud of it. I have worked very hard to achieve this level of snobbess. Its a good thing I had an impulse I touch purchase before this trip because the last 2 episodes of LOST, the reader and phish are the only reason I seriously haven't had an anxiety attack! Its also good to know that I could have purchased 4 Amtrak tickets with the money I spent at best buy today.

Ok now that I'm going to vomit from blogging on a bus I will leave you with this visual. The man at 2 o'clock has lost his finger in his nose

Peace

Update I am still alive and now sitting in a pizzeria in Penn station drinking a corona out of a paper bag. This is what I have come to......but the pizza makes it all worth it!!!

cuter than puppies with pigtails

2009-06-04T21:15:00.002-04:00

summa time

2009-06-03T14:19:00.011-04:00

can i get a shout out for summer?!? i know it doesn't officially start for another couple of weeks but it's here! what does this mean? especially now that i'm back to my roots?

first and foremost it means these babies...

which must be accompanied by their best friends:

notice the non fancy plastic beer picture with domestic colored beer...this is essential.

it also means sunshine, warmth, heat, pools, tans, burns, cheaper clothes, cute sandals and trips to the beach!

i might feel like this in my mom tankini...

but f it, at least i'll have my tan on

the end.

all the single ladies

2009-05-26T21:42:00.011-04:00

just another wild and crazy night with the girls! yes that is my voice...it's a mix between a penguin and marge's lesbian sister on the simpsons.

some programming notes:
1. that's how nola talks
2. yes i am the mother of the year for video taping my infant fall and then laughing at her
3. yes my 2 year and 9 months old daughter is singing her own mix of sponge bob's "goofy goober" and beyonce's "all the single ladies" or in her words "we're the single ladies".
4. yes i taught my toddler how to stir the pot with her booty.

enjoy

chick flix

2009-05-18T20:10:00.004-04:00

dearest netflix,

i am really enjoying our two week free courtship. you have been the perfect boyfriend and i see no reason why i should not pay for your services going forward. let's review:

1. you send me mail. i love mail. whatever happened to the old pony express, handwritten, will you go with me type relationships anyway? well big daddy you're bringing it back with a 21st century twist.

2. you allow me to be in complete control. i control when you talk, how loud you talk and what topics you discuss. if i don't like what you are dishing i can either fast forward you or stop you all together. if i'm pleased with the performance, i can make you re-perform multiple times. all while wearing my ugliest, comfiest pajamas and wrapped in my blankee on the entire couch by myself.

3. you are ever changing which goes well with my multiple personalities. if i want to laugh, you make me laugh. if i want to be romanced you give it to me. if i want to go on an adventure, you're right there. if i want to entertain my children while sleeping in at the same time - guess who the perfect boyfriend is?!?

4. i get to send you back! once the butterflies are gone and i'm pretty much bored with you....once your habits go from cute to annoying.....once you start throwing socks on the floor.....i get to wrap you up in the no postage required package that you came in and dump you in the mail drop! i can then run back to my bed and do mattress angels all. by. my. self.

so as you can see this relationship is a win win for me, as it should be. my only complaint is that you started me out with the notebook. the notebook? seriously? you know my fragile state. you must have some weird fantasies of you, me and the kleenex box. well you got them mister. let's just be a little more aware of my healthy boundaries going forward.

the end.

note - the above post is used soley for entertainment purposes and by no means represents any type of relationship that would void any contractual agreements held by the author.

picking up BWP in my mom car

2009-05-11T21:44:00.011-04:00

i would like to dedicate this blog to baking with plath. she is my idol. she's everything i'm not. a former stripper, childless, 20 something and drunk. she makes me want to drop my kids off at daycare permanently, go straight to the bar, get wasted and scream obscenities about my vagina to all of the patrons.

but alas, here i am way past my bedtime at 10pm....clothed, sober and a 30 something mother of 2.

i thought by purchasing this i could be more like plath.....well let's put it this way, it's taken me 5 days to type this post after only getting halfway through level 1. (note - if you have mom boobs make sure to wear a bra of some sort. the jumping jacks are brutal. i went from tube boobs to canoe boobs on this one.)

so i give up. i will continue to stalk bwp on a daily, ok hourly, basis.....but i will accept that my 20s are over. time for one piece bathing suits and preparation h......women's rogaine and tweezers to pluck my random chin hair.

in honor of my recent acceptance of this depressing existence, i purchased my first mom car. for those of you who know me, i'm pretty vein about my rides. yes i might take omega 3's everyday but i still listen to gangsta rap and go go on the way to daycare. i had to make somewhat of a practical (translate: financial) (translate: responsible) decision for once in my life. i also had to make 2 cars turn into one. so long story short i bought a d d d d dodge (ok that was half the battle) j j j j j j journey. it sounds way more momish than it is. it's still a pretty pimp mom car though. i'm rollin on chromed out almost dubs.

i still can't help but feel like i should be wearing mom jeans in it though. but i guess i have to grow up sometime.....maybe next year.

the end.

casa de nicole

2009-04-18T10:51:00.003-04:00

i got my own place!!!!! i'll save the details for another boring post but i just had to put it out there! the pictures i took are from my phone but i don't care!!!! life is great!!

this is the living room looking from the kitchen/foyer....girls room (den) on the right and playroom (sunroom) on the left. technically it's a 1 bedroom but it has a den and sunroom and the location is FABULOUS.....in my parents neighborhood, pool, gym, park and 10 mins from work (without traffic).....also 10 minutes from DC and minutes from old town alexandria. it's the best 835 sq ft i've ever lived in :)

the kitchen.....where the magic happens....frozen pizza magic that is

but seriously, i FINALLY have a gas range again! now i really will cook (ok maybe)....

looking from the living room to the kitchen/foyer and powder room

this is the sunroom which i'm thinking of making into the girls playroom...love the big windows and plantation shutters!!

this is the girls room!

my big WHITE bathroom (not good for dark long hair....must buy lots of rugs!)

the master bedroom and i'm the masta!

i'll post prettier pictures once i get my stuff in but i'm too excited to wait and want to spread my joy to the world....hahaha, i kill me

ok, now to the stuff. my pod got dropped off this morning. why did it take someone so long to invent this magical box?

this is very testosterone of me, but i was so amazed at the podzilla process that i had to photo document it....here goes...

i was supposed to have 3 spaces next together for the pod man.....i spent all night running out to the parking lot stalking cars and finally at 6am this morning got 3 of our cars together....the pod man gets there and said "those spaces are too far from the door, i'll squeeze it in that one space over there" and i'm all like "ok???"

that's all of my belongings suspended in mid air and perpendicular to the parking space he is going to squeeze it in to....hmmmm....

the car on the left would be the car belonging to a potentially very angry new neighbor of mine...

right, mmm hmmm, yeah.......tps reports

sweet mother of God

can i remind you that's my stuff again, suspended on a couple of chains??

like a glove

back that thang up

just another day for the podzilla.....

ok i need to go chew some tobacco and scratch my balls now.

the end.

p.s. moving party at my house! think Obama will help? :)

a shameless plug to sell my house

2009-04-14T21:28:00.003-04:00

you will not only be stimulating the economy but more importantly allowing me to start folding my own underwear again. good night.

buy me

my personal housing crisis

2009-04-11T19:13:00.013-04:00

i'm angry. why you might ask? well i could give you a whole list of answers but right now in this moment it's because of the cost of living in DC. i mean, how do people do it? i guess they just do it. but to come from living in the midwest for 7 years this blows. there's no sugar coating it. let me show you what i mean....

first let's say i wanted to rent a house. i found two similar houses in indy and alexandria.

indy:

alexandria:

both homes are about the same size...3 bedrooms, 2 full baths....in the same type of areas of the city with culture, restaurants, shopping, etc.

the house in indy = $1650/month
alexandria = $2750/month

what was that? $1100/month more? as in 66.66666666667% more??

and i'm sure you're thinking, oh but nicole just factor in the cost of living increase you got with your move.....and that's when i smack you in your face for reminding me that i didn't get squat.

ok, back to more madness. let's say i plan to buy a house.

a modest brick abode in alexandria with hardwoods, upgraded kitchen, new paint, etc.

$595,000

i got too depressed trying to find a perfect match. this place in indy is much prettier but you get the idea....

4 bedrooms, 3 baths, hardwoods, upgraded kitchen...$374,900

a $221,000 difference or 59%!!!!

ok so buying or renting a decent house is out of the question.....for craps and giggles lets take a look at renting an apartment...

A very nice 3 bedroom apartment in indy would be anywhere from 1,000 - 1,400/month. In Alexandria, you can't find a 3 bedroom. A nice two bedroom would be around 1,800/month.

i could go on and on but i'm boring myself now. this city has way more to offer and i'm with family. i just have to suck it up and downgrade. and yes i know i could live further out for less but that's not my steelo.

the end.

mush gardens

2009-04-10T21:21:00.004-04:00

introducing nola bean's first try at food.....or mush

i think it's a bust.....

in other news we went to busch gardens last weekend...

we had some not so good moments.....

lots of silly moments....

and tons of fun......note yes we are soaked and yes it was only in the 60s.....note note yes that is my 15 year old step son (on the far left) and no ladies he is not legal...

picture mania

2009-03-31T22:44:00.004-04:00

now that i'm living with my parents - there i said it out loud - i'm 32 years old and i'm living with my parents. l i v i n g w i t h m y p a r e n t s........

i'm back. i had to throw myself out of the window for a second but it's a quick jaunt up the two flights of stairs to their....wait for it...wait for it.....condo. yes i'm living with my parents in their not so empty nest condo.........

so now that i'm livi....staying at my parents house indefnit...temporarily, my mom has nowhere to hide all of the photos that she takes of my children. i've spent the last few nights downloading all of them and here are some of my favs

street cred

2009-03-28T12:55:00.002-04:00

WARNING - you are about to read a really dumb post.

i was driving nola to the doctor the other night (no ear infection thank you God!!)....and noticed a street sign that i can't get out of my head because i'm deep like that. Chrysanthemum Street. i just had to do spell check on that because i had no clue how to spell chrysanthemum and when i just typed it again i had to look at the spell fixed word and it took me like 5 minutes to type it again.

what was the developer that came up with this street name thinking?? the limitless possibilities are what keep me up at night....i told you, i'm deep. i mean, was he giving props to his favorite flower or is that a plant? is he a member of the chrysanthemum society? does he show his chrysanthemums in the county fair? or maybe it was an act of cruelty. maybe his wife cheated on him and as part of the divorce settlement he had to give her one of the townhouses in his new development so he thought he would make the street name his vengence.

think about buying one of the townhouses and changing your address on all of your mail, work info, bank info, etc. and getting your new license and verifying your address on the phone to the call centers that are outsourced to india. the agony overwhelms me. and what about forms like voting ballotts and sweepstakes cards where you have to put one letter in each box. do you think they have enough boxes to spell out the whole word? and if they don't have enough boxes will you forever be losing mail and ultimately become the latest victim of identity theft? sweet Jesus.

so to all of you developers who decide on street names like chrysanthemum or shades of death ( a road that haunts me from new jersey) or falls of the neuse ( a road one of my shopping centers is on in north carolina that i blame for any vacancy in that center) or tequista circle (my old street where the developer thought it would be smart to also have a tequista court - thanks).......think about the lives you are affecting.....the sleepless nights and the mispellings.....the shame, ohhhh the shame.

that is all. the end.

don't turn that dial

2009-03-24T22:29:00.002-04:00

it's still me....just finally renaming the blog since i'm not a midwest mom anymore

cheers

together by day, sucker by night

2009-03-17T19:00:00.001-04:00

one nice thing about this sucky economy is, to me at least, it seems like i'm getting better customer service. people are working for the sale. on the flip side though, people are working for the sale.

that brings me to my first trip to leo's new vet here last night. i woke up early this morning in a cold sweat with the sickening feeling of buyers remorse and no cute shoes to show for it. what DO i have to show for it you ask? the furminator. what? you don't know what the furminator is? well according to my used car salesman vet 'it's the gold standard of pet hair removal. ask any groomer', he says, 'to have your dog furminated and it will cost you around 50 bucks. you can buy the actual furminator' (as he holds it in the palm of his one hand while giving it the jazz hand with the other like a QVC queen) 'for a little (note that word later) less than one grooming'.

here's where his slickness comes in. he didn't even follow the pitch with a question!?! he just assumed i was such a sucker (which clearly i was) that he didn't even have to ask if i would buy the furminator. he just added it along with the omega 3 pills i didn't remember agreeing to buy and the 12 months of heartguard that i also didn't remember specifying how much i would get.

the sad part? the sad part is that for a living i negotiate millions of dollars worth of dirty, heartless, i eat boxes of nails for breakfast type deals with slimy business men that could sell ice to an igloo. during the day i have no problem listening to a grown man cry. i laugh at the face of a crying man. but apparently once i change out of my work clothes into my sissy super mom costume i'm soggy toast.

looking back i think my toddler is mostly to blame. the vet's first clue to my weakness was most likely the fact that i was 15 minutes late for the appointment and they had to call me on my cell phone to find me because i didn't program the number in my phone or better yet have it memorized. then i'm sure he watched as i stumbled out of the car, tripping over leo's leash, trying not to get too close to the bag of poo i had to carry in while getting gabby out of her car seat. once we finally made it in the door i have no doubt gabby instantly spotted the treat bowl with easter color foiled covered chocolate eggs and peanut butter cups. her mission? do whatever it takes to get her grubby paws on the goods.

after the vet tech took us to our room to wait for the vet, gabby insisted on having to pee. i did what any mom that has been out of the east coast too long would do and left my purse in the exam room with leo. i'm sure at this point the vet ran in the room and checked out my purse for more clues. there he would find tons of bills (compulsive shopper), my playbill from A Chorus Line (sap), my Twilight soundtrack (immature) and two empty prescription bottles (pill popper...perfect!).

the icing on the cake, the piece de resistance if you will would have been when gabby and i returned to the room and i bent down to keep leo from getting out. that's when old doctor evil and my toddler on a mission made eye contact. i can just see it happening in slow motion like an old western with whistling music in the background and tumbleweeds flying across the exam room. yes i'm sure that is when gabby, with her chin raised up to the ceiling and eyes squinted, gave a quick chin nod to the doc. and i bet the doc followed that with two fingers to his eyes and then two fingers to hers. with that nothing else had to be said. gabby would get her easter candy for being a "good girl" and the good doctor would get his kick back from the furminator people.

i was bamboozled by a 2 year old and a guy that examines dog shit all day. oh and by the way, the furminator cost me $49.95. man he's slick. i'm going to go make someone cry now to make myself feel better.

the end.

mooo

2009-03-13T13:34:00.000-04:00

Dear cows of the world
You are all very cute and I wish you the best in life but I now know what God put you on this earth for. For the five guys burger that I have just inhaled. I am no longer a five guys virgin and I am typing this with insanely greasy fingers because I feel the need to stand on the table and scream out the love I feel in my belly. I will now go to walmart and buy an I love beef bumper sticker. And five guys whoever you are I want to be your big love wife only I will be the only wife and you will be my five husbands. I want a five guys burger for the wedding cake and I'm not sharing with the guests.

The end.

pizza hut public potty training

2009-03-12T19:09:00.001-04:00

i'm definitely not a germaphobe but i hate dirt and goo and everything related. my cousin has two girls the same age as mine and we have been spending a lot of time together which is so awesome. very excited for the girls to have close cousins like i did growing up. ok back to the goo.

my cousin and i thought it would be a great idea to take all 4 girls plus my aunt and uncle to the pizza hut (where i grew up everything starts with a "the"...the safeway, the giant, the pizza hut..you get it)..... what were we smoking you ask? well after an adventurous time at the park where everyone and their mother (hahaha) had the same idea we were hungry. the thought was pizza hut buffet = instant grub and a casual atmosphere where you can let your kids run wild. we get there and kids are running so wild you couldn't hear yourself think - perfect. then my eyes found the buffet table. the empty mother f'in buffet table. WHAT?!? check the watch and it's two hairs past a freckle o'clock - i knew i had forgotten something besides deodorant that morning!

we decided to brave it out since it takes fifteen hours to get everyone back into the car, strapped in, go somewhere else and start over. gabby eyes the high chair landfill area and demands a high chair. super. raegan, her toddler wonder duo, chimes in and wants one too. double super. with babies on one arm, hayley (my cuz) and i begin wiping down the funky chairs with baby wipes while waiting for the "hostess" to seat us.

after making 3 laps around the restaurant due to hostess confusion, uncle ronnie took charge and starting moving tables around to accommodate our brood. after playing musical chairs eleventeen times, everyone found their perfect spot and the toddlers were happy.

seconds later, gabby made the downhill roller coaster face and screams at a very high rate of speed "i gotta go peeeeeee".

being the mother of the year that i am, i never remember to bring gabby a change of clothes or diaper so i scoop her up, one shoe on one shoe off and ran (literally) to the bathroom.

upon entering the bathroom we were greeted with a warm bouquet of toilet water and ass. i almost slipped on a liquid that i refused to acknowledge while making my way into the stall. the conversation with gabby proceeded like this:

me: don't touch anything gabby

g: why mommy?

me: because it's dirty

g: why mommy?

me: because people are gross

g: why mommy?

me: because their mommy's never taught them how to be clean

g: why mommy?

me: because their mommy's are gross too. ok, don't touch anything. no gabby. don't touch, don't touch, don't touch, na na na na na, don't touch

g: what you doing mommy?

me: i'm holding you over the potty, this is what we call hovering

g: why mommy?

me: so you don't have to touch the dirty potty

g: why mommy?

me: because it's gross

at this point i began to feel something increasingly warm on my foot. i looked down and sure enough i had misjudged the hover target and my daughter had just peed all over my light brown fuggs (fake uggs). my right fugg was now dark brown and soaking wet.

me: shit

g: whats wrong mommy?

me: you peed on my shoe

g: i'm sorry mommy

me: its not your fault, its my fault

g: why mommy?

me: because i didn't hold you right

g: why mommy?

this is the part where i stop answering the 'why mommies'. i get about 5,763 why mommies per day.

i began soaking the piss out of my shoe with toilet paper and got another 600 what doing mommy? then i pulled her pants up. yes she was standing there the whole time with her pants down, hello?! my fuggs held precedence. so i pull her pants up and they are soaked, socks and all. FABULOUS!! luckily my responsible cousin had extra pants and socks for raegan. score!

moral of the story? only go to pizza hut at the designated buffet hours and always wear your diapers!

the end.

march mommas

2009-03-07T17:26:00.003-05:00

thank you emily for the beautiful pictures of my girls!

airport city

2009-03-03T07:42:00.000-05:00

Good morning airport its been a while.

Hello man with the pants two sizes too small. Nice to meet your package.

I can hear you loud talking ear piece wearing pacing business man. I'm so glad I'm on your flight because I can tell you are a very important person.

Pardon me sir, I didn't mean to get in the way of loading your skis on the parking lot bus. Don't worry it was just my face. I will make sure not to wear my invisible suit next time.

Thank you Potbelly for that lard egg and cheese bagel you served me. My jelly belly thanks you and so do my bowels.

Sorry I can't stay longer but I'm on my way to sunny I mean snowy north Carolina. But don't worry I'm only going for the day and I will be back tonight once the temperatures drop to below human. I will be sure to wait 15 minutes for the economy bus and then forget which bus stop is closest to my car.
The end.

daily hotness

2009-02-26T21:15:00.005-05:00

i wear my heart on my face......er...i immerse myself in the moment...er.....i have A.D.D.....er....i just make some really dumb faces.

here are some of my dailies.

the blow drying face:
the mascara face:

the sunny conversation face:
the i can't stop staring at people in the food court face:

the trying to read the computer without my glasses face:
your welcome.

the end.

let me dance for you

2009-02-20T11:55:00.002-05:00

i've been a little distant. let me break it down for you.

within the last 10 days my world has been rocked, shaken, twisted, tsunami-ed, whatever you want to call it. without going into the depressing details, i have moved back to the east coast with my girls sans husband.

it seems my life has consisted of one stressful occurrence after another and i'm sure if i wrote them all out on paper i would be 1st in line for the straight jacket...but i'm not because:

i have 2 beautiful amazing daughters
i have an infinite amount of incredible friends that have been my rock through this
i work for and with the best of the best who have basically created a new position for me overnight
i am now close to my family which includes my parents, sister, niece, grandma and tons of aunts, uncles and cousins....and their kids

so it's really hard for me to feel sorry for myself. i believe everything happens for a reason and it all seems to be falling into place.

my to do list consists of
selling my house
finding a house here
renaming my blog

in the meantime we are shacking up with the rents in their condo...it's cozy! there are certainly times where i long to have my things and my own place but more often than not i'm just so glad to be with my peeps.

i had a cocktail party for work the other night in the district. driving home past all of the beautifully lit museums, monuments and memorials was like a dream. i love it here. the midwest was good to me but there is no place like home.

what better way to celebrate being back and being close to my best friend since the 3rd grade??? she's taking me to see A Chorus Line at the national theatre!!

so with that singular sensation i say i hope i get it...i hope i get my own place....so i can show some tits and ass ;)

everything gonna be alright

2009-02-16T21:56:00.003-05:00

how do i know? because today in the car listening to my old DC radio station they played mary j blige, biggie and tribe called quest back to back. they don't do that in the midwest.

guess i need to rename my blog....

be still my heart

2009-02-11T07:02:00.001-05:00

Watch CBS Videos Online

i once was lost but now i'm found. where can you find me? dumpster diving in chris martin's back yard. why is that? because this interview on 60 minutes has upgraded me from a coldplay fan to a chris martin stalker.

bryan - just jokes baby...you know your dumpster is the only one i want to dive in...

chris/fbi - this post was a joke.....but i'll take free concert tickets :)

the end.

i'm back biznatches

2009-02-10T07:00:00.001-05:00

look into my eyes....you see dese eyes? dese eyes are de eyes of a bebe without rsv. dese are de eyes of a bebe who has just eaten a real size bottle and is working on a poo poo'.

dat is all for now. must get back to reading french accents for dummies.

the end.

thriftonomics

2009-02-09T10:27:00.003-05:00

let me start by saying that this post is in no way meant to say that this economy doesn't suck, because it totally does....

hiyeva (how a good friend says however...gets me every time), i just had a light bulb moment looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. doest that get your attention? good, because apparently there isn't a huge christopher cross following in the blog world and i quite possibly lost all 2 of my readers with that post.

back to the loo. as i was checking myself out in the full length mirror just now and making cat claws to the mirror at my sassiness (i kid), i realized my outfit today is tres cute. trust me, i'm my biggest critic so for me to say this to my brain is kind of a big deal, gosh. on top of that i'm wearing clothes that i have owned for a couple of years. see with the whole one income thing going on at home, big momma (moi) has us on a tight budget. were this not the case, i would have most certainly gone on a shopping spree before returning back to work from maternity leave...convincing myself that i had no clothes that fit and that i deserved it because i birthed a human and all.....but truly just wanted to feed my addiction to fashion and spending money!

with the budget of steel i have set healthy boundaries for myself and put the blinders on when driving past t-t-t-t-t j maxx or mar-mar-mar-mar shalls. sorry my fingers start seizing when typing those names. i have been forced to reinvent my wardrobe. i know your heart goes out to me and you're ready to send me flowers and stuff but really i'm going to be ok. it's amazing what happens with a closet packed full of old rags when you have to put some thought into dressing. it sounds weird but i feel like i'm a better dresser because i have to be more creative with mixing and matching and updating. the truth is i have plenty of clothes, especially for work....i didn't need anything.....and once i do get to go shopping i will be smarter and buy an accessory here or a shirt there to integrate into my new old wardrobe.

something else i noticed in the mirror was that i look pretty damn good for just having a baby 12 weeks and 3 days ago. the majority of that is due to good genes (thanks mom and dad), but the rest i really feel is due to brown bagging it for lunch and cooking dinners. i used to spend a fortune on going out to lunch everyday and carrying in for dinner most nights. at first that was a really hard thing for me to cut, especially the lunch. surprisingly not because i'm lazy (because i am) and didn't want to pack my lunch, but because i really enjoy getting out of the office and having fun adult time everyday. luckily i'm not the only clothes recycling sucker in the office so a bunch of us are committed to brown bagging it and eating together in the conference room everyday. i can't tell you how much money i've saved just by doing this - but more importantly i'm eating way healthier and i've slimmed the jelly belly down much quicker than i would have on a pizza a day diet! we still go out on fridays but even then i'm more conscious of what i eat and how much i spend.

budget life has also turned me into a much better mom in the kitchen department. i actually go food shopping every week, buy stuff thats on sale and healthy AND even cook dinner! this is big for me people. again i've saved so much money doing this but even better we're eating together as a family (for about 3 minutes before nola needs a bottle or gabby is under the table but baby steps :).

lastly, i'm not sure if it has to do with the sucky economy but i've really become more aware of our environment and making better decisions for the planet. i have a cup at the office instead of using a million styrofoam cups.....i use the reusable grocery bags (which totally rock and make carrying in the groceries a breeze, why did it take so long for these to come out?).....i'm recycling at home (and keeping a list of all of the plastics that aren't 1s or 2s and plan to write nasty letters to each company that doesn't provide 1s or 2s like McDonalds!).

so even though i'm totally ready for obama to fix it, i'm grateful for my health, my family and taking more responsibility with my finances and my planet. i hope more people are taking the same things from this because i think that will have a positive long term impact on our country. it's not about the stuff. it's about the love......so burn your bras! :)

the end.

there's no place like home there's no place like home

2009-02-03T16:59:00.003-05:00

i heard this song this morning driving in the snow storm to work.

when i close my eyes and listen to it i can smell coconut scented sunblock....i can feel the heat on my face and feel my little legs that don't touch the ground sticking to the red pleather seats in our white caprice station wagon.....and when i hear this on the 8 track player....

i can smell the salt water....taste the crabs......and smell the windex from my dad cleaning the windows before every trip......

i can feel the bruises from my sisters and i beating each other in the back seat....and i can feel the skin peeling off my legs when we get out of the car from the sweather (sweat + pleather) factor......and boy do they feel good....

when i hear these songs i'm not fighting to keep my job, hoping my husband will find one, taking my daughter to the hospital, missing my peeps because they're all so far away.....

thank you c criddy (how kids these days refer to christopher cross), you rule...

in other news i would like to point out that i'm a total jack ass. i've been blogging for several months now and i just realized that when i leave a comment on someone's blog if i click the box to get follow up emails i can see what others say after me. i will now sleep at night because i felt so much pressure to try to remember all of the blogs i commented on to check back if someone responded to my comment or asked me a question. i won't mention any names but when i revealed this to one of my friends .....actually the person who inspired me to blog.....a blog icon if you will.....the queen of blogs....oh and did i mention she is a killer photographer too? i won't mention her name though....i'll save her the shame and embarrassment......but she (blog queen, QB, my blog idol) didn't know this either. so that made me feel better :)

the end.

just say nola

2009-01-31T21:14:00.003-05:00

so here i sit in a dark hospital room with my baby hooked up to monitors and an iv and oxygen. nola has rsv and we've been camping out here since last night. we'll be here at least another day or so.

she is pitiful but has been sleeping a lot which is good. the oxygen and iv help keep her comfortable.

basically rsv for anyone over the age of 2 is a bad cold, but for mini babes it can be serious. i'm confident she will be ok. it's just one of those things we have to ride out.

i gotta tell you though, i love me some hospitals. as soon as my doctor told me to take her in last night i was putting my shoes on! why you ask? for many reasons....in this case the biggest being that i have help and i have medical professionals telling me what to do. screaming babies bring out the psycho in me so guidance is good.

another reason i love hospitals is the same reason why i love hotels. they force the nuerotic side of me to take it easy. i napped all day today because i knew that someone else was going to clean my room, my bathroom, deliver my food, etc.

and selfishly i love the part about hospitals where the nurse comes in and asks how i'm doing every hour and if she can get me anything!?! after i had gabby i cried when i had to leave the hospital....not because of hormones but because i was terrified of leaving the nurses and my cushy hospital life!

ok, enough about me...i have people to stalk on facebook now. mother of the year!

the end.

dear mommy

2009-01-28T13:10:00.004-05:00

dear mommy,

in response to your sappy post about how i can save the world if i want to i give you this...

why? because i'm only 75 days old and i've alredy had 2 ear infections, 2 stomach viruses, a nasty cold, a trip to the ER and now i'm coughing like a 3 pack a day smoker. did i mention the whole birthing process where strangers with face masks ripped me out of my happy and healthy home?!? you're dragging me to the doctor again today for the 8th time in my short existence. nothing good happens at the doctor except poking, proding, nudity, needles, prescriptions and nasty nurses. help me out here. give a girl a break.

painfully yours,
nola

sweet nola

2009-01-23T12:18:00.003-05:00

dear nola,

hello my love. this morning was the first morning after the first night that you slept all night long. it was still an early 5:45 am for mommy but it was great. i took you into the big room and got you all cozy in my arms and fed you. i watched this video while we sat there together this morning...

and as i listened to the lyrics....and stared at your sweet face....tears ran down my cheeks. happy tears of joy and pride and most importantly love. my heart sings because all things are possible for you and i believe that now.

always remember that no matter how bad things might seem in life that hope and love always win. the power of the human spirit is untouchable. so believe that...from the depths of your soul believe that anything, ANYTHING that you dream is possible. if you live your life with this mentality, the love and hope will spill out of you and spread throughout and the world will be a better place.

i love you,
mommy

p.s. to my readers (all 3 of you) i promise that this is not a temporary "high" because she slept through the night and i promise to return to my sarcastic self tomorrow....until then, goodnight.

no more mr. nice mom

2009-01-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

this morning was insane. let me set the scene....

first i was so proud of myself because i made all of the bottles for daycare last night, packed all of my food for the week at the office and even had time to watch the bachelor (what a train wreck!).

oh rewind a bit....spent yesterday morning at the doctor to find out that nola has her 2nd ear infection...well really 3rd since both f-ing ears are infected this time....at 9 weeks old. gabrielle had tubes by 6 months so it seems that the Good Lord has blessed me with a child with another set of mini ear openings. the doctor told me that she doesn't think they'll do tubes much less than 6 months old so here's to 4 more months of weekly doctor visits, screaming, prescriptions and the worst part - pain for my baby.

ok back to the psycho 24 year old bachelor stalker that was crying and telling him how much she wants to be a mother...run bachelor, run! finished watching that, started watching momma's boys but i was on reality overload so i turned off the tube and went to sleep knowing that last night was bryan's night on baby duty (we do the every other night routine). checked my blackberry to make sure the alarm was on and i was out like a light.

i slept like a rock. usually i wake up when nola gets up and I have a hard time falling back asleep but bryan must have taken her out to the big room (thats what we call our family room, no clue why) so i didn't hear her crying. the only time i got up was when gabby got in my bed around 4am. i literally opened one eye lid to look at her and the clock, she snuggled in and i fell back into my coma.

the next time i woke up it was to silence....before opening my eyes i thought to myself "self, its still really early, just go back to sleep"....but the neurotic part of me forced myself to open an eyelid and look at the clock. FUCK was the word that then left my lips when I saw it was 7am. keli is not going to be happy with me for putting that word in my blog but i'm all about honesty and that was the word that was used. when i was drafting this blog in my head on the way to work (yes i am a GEEK) i was thinking i say that word way too much....i mean usually people say CRAP or SHIT when they mess up....i go straight for the big momma! oh well, thats for a different blog...

after dropping the F dash dash dash bomb i did what any normal mom/wife would do and wake up my husband like a crazy loon with only 2 minutes to live. HONEY HONEY HONEY, it's 7am, my alarm didn't go off, can i take a quick shower? i asked because honey had a 7:30 dentist appointment. sure he says, knowing that it was going to take him a while to peel his eyelids open after a night of nola and that once he did peel them open he would require a piping hot cup of instant coffee (he's gangsta).

i quickly shower (as quickly as i could...it was hair washing day, i do the every other day plan with that too and i'm a creature of habit...) and get my hair did thinking bryan must be forgoing the shower to get to his chomper appointment. nope, mr. z was feeding nola (coffee close by) so i relieved him, he took a shower and off he went. the time was now 8am. i'm supposed to be at work at 8am mind you and i'm sitting in my robe feeding nola who was still in her jammies and laying next to gabby who was still in a coma in her jammies. somehow i was supposed to get these chicks dressed and to daycare and get to work in t minus zero minutes. good times.

ok i need to speed this up a bit. keli will not be happy with the amount of words i'm using to paint the picture. i'm wordy, i can't help it.

i give nola her meds, feed her some, she pukes on herself and me, get her cleaned, and dressed, feed her some more, she pukes all over herself, get her dressed again and then gabby wakes up. meanwhile nola is crying pretty much this whole time. the time is now 8:30am.

i put nola down and get myself dressed. oh the joys of dressing 9 weeks after having a baby. yes i'm blessed and can wear most of my clothes but not without smashing the jelly belly into my waist band and going through a few shirts before i find one that doesnt show my muffin top exploding over the waist band. this morning i was bold and went for a white button down shirt but added one of those cardigans that doesn't button but flutter out on the sides (my professors at FIT would be so proud of my fashion terminology). so white shirt equals nude color bra. digging through my drawers with a 9 week old crying and a 2 year old saying "mommy mommy mommy" five hundred and sixteen times is challenging. i could only find the nude bra that i wore during pregnancy and breastfeeding that has no underwire or support. hot! i noticed when buttoning the white shirt that the top button was half gone. hmmm, this could be a problem, should i change? whaaaaaa whaaaaa mommmy mommy.....fuck it. yes in my head i said the f word again, sorry keli.

pick up nola, take gabs to her room and lets get her dressed. gabby is a self dresser and undresser now so she is very insistent about doing both herself. i was able to maintain my patience level through the undressing and placing of clothes in her dirty basket but i couldn't do the dressing. then the gates of heaven opened and bryan walked in the door. hand him nola, convince him to stay home with nola today because she's been puking and crying - check. back to getting gabby dressed. we played a little twister which turned into wrestling and she was doing everything in her power to fight me from getting her dressed...rewind forgot right before this she peed on the floor next to the potty...fast forward...so she's fighting me on the dressing. one thing bryan and i are working on is disciplining...we suck at it. we're a pair of hippies in business clothing...we're all about peace love and happiness and hate fighting. well this morning i put the peace pipe down and actually got a deep firm voice and said "Gabrielle stop it right now and cooperate, this is ridiculous, i'm very late". it was like someone else took over my body and was saying these evil words to my daughter and the wimp on the inside was crying ' stop, no'...but before mommy wimpy pants could emerge, gabby's tears dried right up and she stopped fighting and let me get her dressed and was super sweet to me.

the moral of this really long story? i need to grow up and be a parent, well atleast sometimes, to have a little more control over the chaos that is my life these days!

gabby and i then headed off to school in my super warm car that had been heating up for like 45 minutes. the time now 9:10am.

gabby and I always have quiet time in the car in the mornings. i only talk to her if she talks, but usually its just a nice silent 10-15 minute drive. this morning as we pulled out of the driveway, she asked me for glasses. it was super sunny so i grabbed a pair and passed them back to her. i was approaching the school when i peaked in my rear view to look at her. it was all i could do not to bust out laughing at what i saw. there my sweet 2 year old was with a serious face on and my chanel sunglasses on completely upside down. she had them on the whole drive like that. i took a couple pictures in my rear view mirror to try and capture the innocence :) the second two obviously she knew i was taking them and the ham returned. she's my daughter no doubt! and yes mothers of the world i know i'm supposed to raise the "graco" thing on her car seat but this morning be glad she's not in the front seat!

i made it to work at about 10am. i've been buttoning my half button all day.

the end.

sunday at the zups...gabby's world premiere

2009-01-18T15:52:00.010-05:00

gabby's impromptu tribute to Obama....bryan uploaded on CNN here and they called him 5 minutes later to get his permission to play on the air....gabby is not impressed and would rather be watching sponge bob....

the close up

gabby's world and a tour of our house from her POV...good thing i just vaccuumed (or swept as my midwest peeps say)!

my pretty ladies...

no comprendo

2009-01-16T10:07:00.003-05:00

the big weiner

2009-01-14T10:44:00.003-05:00

so what's better than winning a much needed romantic weekend trip on a sailboat in annapolis, maryland with your husband? the fact that i had no idea we were even entered to win! bryan's brother got married this summer on the boat and the picture we took below won the annual photo contest they have! what a sweet surprise! this is the weekend package. i highly reccomend it....and annapolis for that matter. it's actually the same boat that was used in the movie wedding crashers. good times! something to look forward to this summer!!

barack will fix it

2009-01-13T20:32:00.002-05:00

so apparently my mom's new slogan when something isn't working is "barack will fix it". well momma, i hope so. it's no wonder they called it the depression because this recession stuff is depressing!

i watched a lot of tv while feeding the nola meister during my maternity leave (yes people, i'm already back to work).....i was so excited and prepped for this. gabby would be at school and big moms would have the remote all to herself...little nola too disabled by her youth to stop me. today show, ellen, oprah here i come! the programs would be filled with holiday cheer, shopping guides, menu ideas, oprah's favorite things o my! add a recession and what do you get? design on a dime bull crap....lessons on regifting....and the worst most sinful of all - oprah's favorite things is replaced by "thrifty gifts under $10?!?". come on oprah, give me a break. i know you were not making homemade boxes for your kin this holiday so don't insult me. hey, i'm affected by this slump....in fact we only bought presents for the kids this year and it sucked. that doesn't mean that i don't want to drool over the hottest gadgets and gear! this economy needs stimulation and in my opinion all the media was doing was making those that could spend feel guilty about spending and keeping them away from the stores! look what happened when michelle obama plugged jcrew...somehow all of those customers found it in their walletts to buy out all of the rags michelle donned on leno.

so fix it mr. obama. whip the media into shape. promote grass root economic stimulation. economic stimulation means more demand for retail which means more stores will be expanding which means more deals for my hubby to close which means big momma can go shopping again. it's the circle of life! i kid i kid.

the end.

what it's all about

2008-12-25T10:53:00.007-05:00

the end.

wordless day after wednesday

2008-12-25T10:52:00.002-05:00

happy festivus

2008-12-23T12:56:00.002-05:00

moms

2008-12-21T14:27:00.004-05:00

i feel like i need to quickly post another blog so you guys don't think i'm standing on a ledge somewhere. really i'm handling everything just fine but every now and then when i think of it all i just want to get on my bike and ride to a magical land with no mortgages and dog hair :)

here are some beautiful shots my mom took on her last trip here. man do i wish she lived closer. i really really miss her!

by the way my mom, marilynn spindler, is a professional photographer. they do documentary style photography. based out of the DC area but will travel. check out the website!

little nola bean...she's already 10lb, 2oz!
my little drama queen gabby...
my niece chloe, gabs and nola

servin up some fresh hot balls of stress

2008-12-21T13:51:00.003-05:00

tis the season for baking. this holiday season i'm baking stress balls. i'm sure you've all had them made differently. here is my recipe for this year:

ingredients:
1 seven inch c-section incision
1 needy infant (make sure to get the kind that wants to be held all of the time and only wants to eat from your boob)
1 angry 2 year old for getting aforementioned infant
35 days of below freezing weather
1 whiny dog that pukes in the house and wants to go in the below freezing weather 572 times a day for only 1 minute each time
1 blackberry pearl that not only is your home phone but dubs as your work phone and email receiving device
127 emails received a day on blackberry pearl of which 127 need responses to
1/3 of a house where the heat is not working (for best results make sure the heat is not working in the room that the toddler and infant are supposed to sleep in)
1/2 of a cinder block that you ran over with your car with the angry 2 year old in your car in below freezing weather in the exit lane to the expressway
2 high performance tires after flat from cinder block

beat on high for 35 days while Christmas shopping, cleaning house and trying to nap.

add the secret ingredient - the news that your husband got laid off - and roll into tight tight balls.

bake at inferno degrees fahrenheit indefinitely and hope for the best.

feliz navidad!

the end.

crazy 8

2008-12-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

i have a new favorite kids store! crazy 8! maybe you guys have already been there, i'm not much of a mall shopper (hopefully my boss doesn't read this!). anywho, it's really hip stuff and great prices! i only shop sale racks at most retailers but even their original prices were reasonable. shockingly it's owned by gymboree. i don't think i've ever stepped foot in gymboree, the primary colors scare me!

here are a few of the pieces i got for gabby...all under $12!

and for little nola bean...

gabby's world

2008-12-10T12:31:00.004-05:00

gabby is doing much better with the whole baby thing.....she's back to entertainment comedian mode.....and she's all about sponge bob square pants!

a friend sent her this cool gingerbread house making kit which we put together last night...we like to call it the sanford & sons gingerbread shanty...

we had our first significant snow fall so i went out and got gabs a snow suit and a sled and daddy took her on her first snow cruise....all went well until she did a face plant in the snow :)

nana bought gabby the full chef get up....she's all about dressing up but she had to put her own spin on it with the butterfly net on her head....we like to call it martha stewart meets mayberry...

daddy's girls...

our animals all suffer from identity crises.

this would be the rescue pack queen "fweeping" the fireplace pantless....no other words needed
and this is gabby's rendition of nana at the computer...

marchelle does it again * nola pics

2008-11-23T18:31:00.002-05:00

ok people, marchelle has just started this photography thing and is completely self taught...the girl has a gift! check out a sneak peak of the pictures she just took yesterday of nola. please note that the first baby is not nola even though her own mother, yours truly, thought it was....she starts half way down.

numero dos

2008-11-20T09:34:00.002-05:00

the woman that is pregnant with her 18th child mystifies me. so many questions...the overwhelming one being why?!?

i have to say that this experience so far has been way more enjoyable than with my first. after getting over the shock of finding out i was pregnant with nola just days before closing on a brand new house while still owning our other home.....this pregnancy was much less stressful. there are many reasons but the main one being that i knew what to expect and i did not overload myself with all of the different "what to expect when expecting" literature. i just listened to my body and went on with life. also the whole having a toddler thing helps you to forget about yourself as well.

my labor and delivery with gabby was a traumatic experience that i never want to revisit. i'll spare you the details but will sum it up with 23 hours of labor, 5 epidurals, shoulder stuck, chord bursting, baby not breathing, NICU called in to revive and the weeks...months of getting myself back together.

when they determined that little nola was going to be larger than gabby i told the doctor i wanted a c-section. elective c-sections are big with celebrities and in more progressive parts of the country. in the midwest? not so much. thank you Jesus that my doctor is young and has recently given birth. she had no hesitations setting it up. my obgyn practice has 6 doctors and they want you to rotate your appointments so you are familiar with all of them - not knowing who will be on call when you pop. since it was my second i was able to dodge this most of the time but when you're going once a week sometimes its inevitable to see another doctor. at 37 weeks i saw one of the older male doctors. he noted that i had an "elective" c-section planned and he was such a jerk to me. he was like "what if you go into labor today, are you going to have a c-section?....what if you go into labor the day before you scheduled c-section?" all in a shitty tone meaning he was anti elective. I just politely smiled and shrugged my shoulders while biting my tongue because what i really wanted to say was last time i checked you don't have a vagina pops!

my c-section was scheduled for nov. 17th at 8am and i was to report to the hospital at 6am. another reason i loved the idea of this was that i am a total planner. the unknown is not my friend. i smiled with pride when i told people i'm having a baby on november 17th at 8am!

as many of you witnessed, my belly was enormous. i'm blessed with good genes and can now fit into my jeans (ba dump bump bump...i'm here all night folks)...but seriously i was all belly. my ass got a little bigger and my hands and feet swelled but most of the 34 pounds i gained were in my big belly. i only gained 19 lbs with gabs and i was still wearing the same maternity pants this time, however the shirts i sported til the end with gabs reached the top of my belly button with nola by 6 months!

my last week at work was finally here and everyday i treated as if it were my last just in case. everything was organized, everyone knew where to access everything and i lugged my briefcase home every night with stuff i would need at home. thursday, november 13th rolled around (full moon) and i put a full day in. once i got home i was in the most foul mood and i was so sick to my stomach. i asked my sweet husband for some alone time and of course he obliged and i shut myself in my room and lay there with the pillow over my head running back and forth to the bathroom. i finally fell asleep for a couple of hours and then woke up again at 1:30am. i had been having braxton hicks for the past couple of weeks but nothing consistent and nothing painful. i noticed a few after i woke up and tried going back to sleep but they were keeping me awake. i kept one eye on the clock and determined that they were every 5 to 8 minutes and this was probably it....but maybe if i could just fall back asleep i could buy some more time. to no avail, i finally got out of bed and decided to make a bagel. again, second baby, not stressed, knew i had time and knew once i got to the hospital it would be a long time before i could eat! so i ate my bagel and watched a dvr'd oprah with beyonce (i have a whole new love for her after watching that but i'll save it for another blog)...while my hubby was snoozing on the couch. after oprah i went back to my bed and tried to rest some more but the contractions were getting stronger so since i had a c-section scheduled i figured i better call. it was now about 3:30am and the doctor said i should go on in to the hospital. i woke up the hubby and broke the news not my water (ta ting!..somebody stop me!) and we began to strategize. my friend keli was on call to come watch gabby if this should happen but to actually call someone at that time is really hard. i finally bit the bullet and called her and after a few minutes of back and forth we determined that she would get ready for work and then come over. she lives 45 minutes away so i told bryan i would take myself to the hospital and he could meet me there. again, the contractions weren't dabilitating and the hospital is only 10 mintues away.

the timing worked out great. by the time bryan got to the hospital around 7am they had scheduled my surgery for 10am. my contractions had slowed down and barely hurt but since it was friday and my section was planned for monday and i was already checked in, it was a go! woo hoo! today was the day!!

fast forward to 10am, i walk myself into the operation room, they numb my spine and away we go. having a baby, no pain, chatting with the hubby, cracking jokes with the doctors telling them to holla if they see a penis and that this is the way to have a baby! and poof, there she was...all 8lbs 13oz of her.

i'm not going to lie, the recovery has been a little painful, but for me, nothing compared to the trauma and aftermath i experienced with the first!

another low point i had with gabby was the post pardum depression i experienced afterward. i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and i was not going to experience that again. once the zoloft worked itself into my blood after about a week i was fine and i have been taking it ever since. actually i stopped taking it when i found out i was pregnant with nola (without consulting with my doctor...bad bad) and i sunk into an even worse depression which was again soon lifted after refilling my prescription. i took it the rest of the pregnancy and plan to keep taking it. (anyone who has a negative opinion about it post your comments somewhere else...i gave birth to a 9lb baby and still have hormonal flare ups so don't mess with me :) ). i've still had a couple of crying outbreaks but overall i am a happy camper and i'm really enjoying my time off so far.

gabby on the other hand is still adjusting. she is very sweet with the baby but she is back talking, fighting going to sleep more than ever before, fighting going to school, acting out, etc. that is the only thing that has made me cry. i know it's just a phase and i pray i get my sweet gabby back but i can't help but feel guilty...that's what moms do best after all.

so far nola is a dream baby. besides the fact that she is a shitting machine and we probably go through 50 diapers a day, she is a great eater and sleeper. i think a big part of it is i'm supplementing nursing with formula so she's full AND daddy and nana can help feed her too. i'm also forcing myself to take a nap everyday so that the nights aren't so painful.

that is where i am today. for anyone that made it this far through the blog, way to go! what did you think i was going to give you a prize or something? :)

the end.

belly pictures

2008-11-18T11:00:00.002-05:00

check out some belly pictures of me from a week before little miss nola joined us. my friend marchelle is a photographer and did a beautiful job. she's also super funny so add her to your roll yo!

nola has arrived

2008-11-15T17:09:00.005-05:00

introducing...

nola simone

born 11/14/08

10:20 am

8 pounds 13 ounces

20.5 inches

wordless wednesday - panty head edition

2008-11-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

let's go to the movies

2008-11-09T14:09:00.002-05:00

we took gabrielle for her first movie this morning and saw madagascar 2. awesome movie and she loved the whole experience!

the end.

my election night story and gratitude

2008-11-05T10:48:00.006-05:00

i stayed up as late as i could last night and made it up until cnn and fox projected that obama had won ohio. i asked bryan to wake me up when they project the winner. i was going to sleep a confident woman. i heard my phone buzzing a few times with text messages from my homies. at midnight i decided to read the texts and take a much needed potty break. i read the latest text from one of my dearest friends and it read "what a great great great man". i knew right away i had to hit the boob tube. i went into the spare bedroom to find my hubby asleep on the job.....bless his little snoring self for sleeping apart from his king size bed the last few weeks so i can get what little sleep i can. i sat at the desk, propped my swollen feet up on gabby's chair and watched obama's acceptance speech already in progress. it's a moment i'll never forget. i was so moved by his speech. it wasn't a rah rah we good you suck speech. he expressed his gratitude. he addressed those american's that didn't vote for him with humility and respect. his tone was appropriate given the crisis that we are in. i was also moved at the shots of the crowds both in grant park, harlem, LA, etc.....seeing oprah and jesse jackson crying like babies......feeling the love between barack and michelle as well as their children, biden and his wife and their extended families. i was definitely choked up and had the chills and once they left the stage, i returned to bed. once i laid down it all hit me and i wept and wept. i was overwhelmed not only by history in the making but the fact that america did the right thing and i was so proud and i was so thankful.

at the beginning of the election i have to admit that i thought it was a long shot for him to win. i didn't think america was there yet. then one night about a month ago i had a dream that obama won. when i woke up i could still feel the excitement and i decided right then and there that he was winning. i am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking and laws of attraction. i also think a little hope goes along way and hope is exactly what this country needs right now.

so thank you america.

thank you for the young minority children that can now identify with our president.

thank you for protecting a woman's right to choose.

thank you for the inspiration to our youth that you don't have to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth to overcome any obstacles and achieve greatness.

thank you for seeing past race and identifying intelligence, integrity and true leadership.

thank you for the wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers that will get to see their loved ones who have served our country in iraq a little sooner.

thank you for giving us a new perception to the world who is celebrating for us, wiping the slate clean of the last 8 years and for the overnight transformation of our foreign policy.

most importantly to me, thank you for the path you've paved for my babies. thanks to you, they will never know the feeling of doubt as it relates to electing a minority as president. thanks to you they begin their lives in a nation that has evolved leaps and bounds from the nation their grandparents were born into.

this is how my morning began....

and now for a quick funny to cap it off pregalicious style....

yesterday i proudly donned my two mini obama pins to work. my first stop after arriving to the 11th floor from the elevator was of course for a potty break. i went into my usual stall, took the seat cover out and bent over to place it on the seat. with that there was an immediate "kerplunk". "NOOOO" i gasped as i looked down to see the back of my barack pin sitting in the deep toilet sea. i had to make a quick decision. my bladder was throbbing, i'm a germaphobe and i love obama. my love for obama prevailed. without further thought i stuck my hand wrist deep into the toilet thinking 'please God let this toilet not have been used yet today since it was cleaned last night'. i quickly set barack on top of the toilet paper holder to dry and used the toilet seat cover to dry my hand and did the gross pee pee dance around the stall with a couple gags, dry heaves and silent cries for antibacterial soap. i just couldn't bear to let this horrible moment become symbolic and let him go down the tubes. now that the election is over i feel that i can share this story and kick what little superstition that resided in the depths of my belly to the curb!

the end.

i vant to trrrick or trrreat

2008-11-01T15:37:00.002-04:00

gabby LOVED trick or treating last night. we went to a friend's house since we don't live in a neighborhood. it was great because gabs got to hang with some peeps her own size. she was a little shy but in no time she was skipping down the sidewalk from house to house.

here are a couple of shots at our crib before we left to scavenge other neighborhoods. by the way the sticker which she strategically placed (and would not let us take off) on her forehead was awarded to my little blood sucker for pooping on the potty at school...that's right my girl ROCKS!

here are some shots from the streets. instead of saying trick or treat, gabby vamps said "raaaar" to each home owner. once she scored some sweets she of course said thank you :)

this is gabby's new thing when you tell her to smile...that's my girl!

this picture is way to amusing not to share. apparently daddy thought it would be funny to capture the moment of mommy trying to squat down to take a picture with gabs. as you will see, i did not make it down but this is hilarious! welcome to my world!

and now for gabby's portrait of her mother. no wonder she's always telling me to "go away mommy"...i would too if i had to look at this instead of my mom's face! haha

we knew she was pooped when she handed over the candy filled pumpkin AND the camera and plopped down in someone's yard!

so we headed back to our friends house for some pizza and candy inventory! here's the whole group of goblins...

the end.

pumpkin carving usa

2008-11-01T15:28:00.002-04:00

my little musical fashionista

2008-10-29T19:56:00.001-04:00

things that make you go ewww

2008-10-29T10:17:00.003-04:00

in the spirit of halloween i feel the need to share with you things that make me go ewww and/or seriously?!?

yesterday in a meeting full of approx 10 grown adult business people, the man sitting next to me proceeded to slowly and neatly trim off one of his finger nails and then hold the amputated nail in his finger tips and chew on it like a tooth pick.....ewwwwwwwww

we just got an email saying that we are allowed to wear a halloween costume on friday if and only if we sign up to donate blod....oh please oh please, can i? seriuosly?!?

i walked into my standard bathroom stall this morning at work to find that someone did not flush and it was not a pretty site....ewwwwww

gabby was playing outside the other day and after she came in she asked me to take off her shoes. when i grabbed the left one i was simultaneosly struck by the horrid smell that rocked my world and the hot gooshy mess squishing between my fingers....dog sheet.....ewwww and seriously?!?

i was at a red light yesterday on the way home from work behind a man that felt the need to hock loogies out of his window every 37 seconds....double ewwwwww!

everyday on our online bulletin board at work there is someone who needs to "get rid of their dog/cat"....i'm thinking of posting the same about my kid and see what kind of response i get.....seriously?!?

from my male bathroom spies....a summary of the mens bathroom ewwwws.....the man who piddles on the floor, the man who NEVER washes his hands, the men that take newspapers/magazines into the bathroom (i call them poop papers...hmmm wonder what they're going to do!) and the men that stew in their poo (my husband's term) with no courtesy flushes......ewwwwwwwwww

there is also a guy i work with who consistently digs in his ear and then balls up whatever magic he's found out and plays with it.....in front of people!! i'm not kidding!! this is one of our executives!!! ewwwww and seriously?!?

ok i think i've totally grossed myself out now. happy halloween!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Dtfi3VkiU

wordless wednesday - the husband edition

2008-10-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

halloween take 1

2008-10-25T12:07:00.002-04:00

gabby had a halloween parade yesterday at school. i kept asking myself why the 24th and not next friday, the 31st? after it was all said and done, i was yet again reminded of why i pay so much to have goddard parent my child. that was certainly enough halloween stimulation and candy for one day!

let me give you a little background on the costume. i'm not one of those moms that goes out and buys the pumpkin costume and says "you're going to be a pumpkin for halloween". i'm all about freedom of expression....well to a point. not saying i don't use a little reverse psychology, subliminal coersion or white lying here and there....but for the most part i'm open. gabby, my friend and i went to the halloween costume store and i picked out three costumes (the three that i liked the best of course) and laid them on the floor for her to pick. the options were 1. little red riding hood 2. vampira 3. witch. She went right for the vampira (girly vampire). this was no surprise since on the way to the store she told us in a very scarrrry voice that she wanted to be a monsta! (kate - you may want to stop reading now....i don't want you to think less of me )

fast forward to yesterday. another bonus of having the parade yesterday for big momma was that i was still recuperating from my rally adventure the day before, and the parade allowed me to leave work at 2:30! i arrived at gabrielle's school just in time to get her ready. half of the kids were already dressed in their costumes that ranged from a spider to a bumble bee to a superman,etc. etc. phew! no bloodsuckers in sight! gabby had just woken up from her nap and was having her snack but she quickly dissed the snickerdoodle (snacks are usually healthier but this was a special day...don't judge me) when she saw that i was holding her costume! we went to the back of the classroom to make the magic happen....we didn't anyone to steal our hair and makeup techniques....well and i didn't feel good about spraying my 'big sexy hair' hairspray near the kids cookies (yes i used hairspray on my 2 year old's virgin hair...sue me!). i get the little vampire all dressed, hair did and makeup done and she looks great! unfortunately she wouldn't let me put the vampire cape on which really makes the outfit but oh well. now time for pictures! what's that mommy? pictures? oh that's my cue to start acting like a little turd and not let you take one good picture, right?!? yes gabby - that's right.

i started with an attempt to video her but she simultaneously found the big sexy hairspray and was trying to spray the class....

and here are my few attempts at getting a picture of her face before she soon licked her black lips and smeared the blood.....

finally daddy arrives! here is my chance to get some great face shots.....or so i thought...

every time i went to click take a pic (name that show mommas) she turned her head! but this one is cute because i quickly put the cape on before she ripped it off and got a profile shot..

here is a full body shot of the little night creature..

daddy's turn with the camera....it's the only full body shot showing her face so i spared you the horrid triple chinned face i was making in this one...tee hee

about this time gabby thought to herself 'wait a second, why are my parents taking all of the pictures...that's my camera! i must show them who is boss!'

so now we begin with photos by gabby z. but first let me back up a bit and share with you some of the looks the parents were giving myself and my child when they saw what she was dressed up as. they looked a little like "that crazy mother is putting blood and black lipstick and hairspray on her precious child and she's having another one?!? maybe i should call child services."

gabby's first photo captured one such face in the midst of thinking "oh now they give her their camera to take pictures...now my kid is going to want my camera....great"

gabby wasn't impressed with her photogenicness so she decided to take pictures of big momma....this was my opportunity to show my fellow moms just how crazy i am!

sweet, my plan was working...no need to worry about anyone asking me to babysit!

gabrielle's teachers were very amused and familiar with my scare tactics...

this mom...not so much...

and finally gabby decided to shoot her fellow bumblebee classmate wondering if bee blood would satisfy her cravings....hey, wait a second! that's the doctor that gave me a root canal earlier this year! when i asked him if he was doctor 'x' he confirmed and his wife seemed pleased that her husband had brought pain to the mother of the dysfunctional classmate that her poor daughter had to share a class with...

the end.

obama rally

2008-10-23T14:59:00.007-04:00

just got back from the obama rally in downtown indy. i was so pumped about it - which makes me feel even more like a midwesterner because growing up outside of DC, opportunities like this didn't phase me as much. the gates opened at 9:30 and the event was supposed to start at 11:00. i definitely didn't want to wait in line and i definitely didn't want to stand around waiting sandwiched next to people all up in my personal space. i left the office at 10:50 and took a cab and still was too early! this was the view in front of me..

and the view behind me..

i was super jazzed when i got there....the positive energy was incredible and it's a gorgeous sunny crisp fall day. then the standing began.....still standing....still waiting....still standing.....finally an hour later after a few quick introductions he was on. no one can dis the man on his speaking abilities. it's truly amazing and obviously something he was born with. i watched frontline on pbs recently where they did biographies on both candidates and they showed videos of Barack in his Harvard days giving speeches with his '70s fro and bell bottoms, weighing all of a buck ten soaking wet.....and he spoke then just as he does today....powerful, confident, no studdering, no uhh, umm, ahhh....it just flows out. unfortunately i wasn't close enough to get the feeling of his presence but it was still cool nonetheless.

so back to the standing....big momma's back was beginning to burn and i could only do so many stretches and lower back rubs before i just had to start walking. the speakers were so loud that you could probably hear him 2 blocks away but i timed it perfectly because by the time i got to the exit he signed off. indianapolis isn't a huge city (although the rally made it feel like it was) so you can't just stand on a corner and hail a cab like in NYC or anything. two co-workers joined me at the rally so we decided if we could find a half way point to eat lunch, big momma could probably handle the trek. one of my co-workers is a little high maintenance and has the hots for the mall food court for lunch...it's a daily battle to go somewhere else. the food court was a little more than half way and i didn't have the lung capacity to fight it so i reluctantly agreed. did i mention that the future farmers of america are here for a conference? well by the time we made it to the food court i was really hurting, my back was burning and my cervix was so tight i could barely walk (tmi, i know). we arrive at the food court and all you see is a sea of blue FFA jackets. every restaurant had an insane line. i thought about dropping right there on the floor and crying like a big baby or just kicking my co-worker in the knee caps...but i held myself together, sat down (literally) on the down escalator and plopped myself in front of the bar at champs and had lunch.

thats really the end of my story. i barely have the energy to proof read before hitting publish. oh one more thing, do you think obama will pay my dry cleaning bill?

the reason my casper white feet are still clean is that i actually thought ahead and brought the uggs to wear to the rally!

the end.

wordless wednesday

2008-10-22T09:28:00.003-04:00

girls trip to the pumpkin patch

2008-10-19T20:01:00.002-04:00

nana and I took gabby and maeci to the pumpkin patch yesterday and had a great time.

first we hit up the pony rides. maeci is an old pro but we were shocked at how fearless gabby was.

then we headed to the petting zoo where the girls checked out the goats, rabbits, pigs, chickens, turkeys and donkies.

this is gabby requesting the camera...

and these are her shots...

next we got in the not so short line for the hayride to the pumpkin patch...nana fell trap to the impulse balloon stand conveniently located next to the line and took the girls to get balloons...

i think they liked them...

now on with they hayride...big momma was worried they were going to have to roll her off the wagon but she made it...

the search for the perfect pumpkins begins...

and after mommy successfully made all big pumpkins seem not right...we have a winner!

all further energy had to be invested on making it back to the hayride, carrying the pumpkins on and off the hayride, standing in line to weigh and pay for the pumpkins and taking them to the car - therefore no further photojournalism took place. after paying for the pumpkins, nana eyed a wheel barrow that we soon hijacked to trek the rest of the way to the car. we had every intention of returning said barrow, however we felt justified in leaving it near the mulch pile and leaving 2 free tickets for the lucky finder inside!

moral of the story is - never go to the pumpkin patch without daddy!

the end.

baby nola

2008-10-16T10:23:00.003-04:00

time for a mooshy mommy post! had my ultrasound yesterday and the baby is already 6 - 6 1/2 lbs. c-section is scheduled for 11/17! 32 days and counting!!

my back is killing....i've gained almost twice the weight as i did with gabrielle but i'm still wearing the same pant size so i take that as meaning its mostly in my big belly as seen below from today

here are 3-D pics of the little monster that plays basketball with my internal organs every second of everyday....she's cute but i gotta admit gabby's 3-D's look exactly the same and I also looked at the 3-D wall of fame at the doctors office and they all looked the same too....but still very cool

i love this one because it looks like she's smiling....

on a completely different note....big ups to all the bosses today! happy bosses day! i personally feel this holiday should occur every quarter. the morning began with dunkin donuts from all of the admins AND they are getting us pizza for lunch....hello somebody!! and my admin gave me a great card, my favorite twizzlers and this rad skeleton halloween pen that not only punches but lights up when you write! and yes i took it into my serious "the sky is falling" meeting this morning and yes every time i made notes it lit up and yes people gave me strange looks....i'll never grow up!

only me

2008-10-10T11:26:00.003-04:00

so i've had this blog in the back of my mind all week but every time i think about logging on to write it i tell myself "self, you don't need to come off as the bitchy hormonal pregnant girl crying woa is me when your life is truly blessed!". that was up until approximately 4 minutes ago when the ultimate, the icing on the cake - or should i say the crap in the diaper just happened....

but let me get you warmed up first....

my belly is huge. i know you all think i'm exaggerating when i refer to myself as big momma, and i am in a way, but now i have proof. my belly was measured on friday and should have been 33cm and it was 39cm. in other words i have the belly of (fast forward a week) a 40 week pregnant woman and i'm only 34 weeks....yes i have 6 weeks left to carry mega baby. so they are doing an ultrasound next wednesday to see how big mega baby really is....and hopefully there is just one!

with that said, it goes unsaid, that i'm uncomfortable....but thats not funny material so let's move on.....with that said, i am down to only a few pairs of pants that fit and a few shirts that are long enough to cover mega baby belly. i'm not purchasing anymore momma clothes, i refuse. in fact i've already happily shipped off all of my too small momma clothes to my cousin in chicago who is expecting in february because this is my last, i repeat, my LAST time being pregnant. if we choose to have more children, which i highly doubt, we are going the brangelina route and adopting!

the few clothes i do have are precious....they need to last 6 weeks...and then they will either be burned or donated! one such garment is a pair of black linen pants from mother of all overpriced cheap clothing hood maternity, that are deliciously comfortable....and yes i had every intention of sporting linen through november with my hot (as in temperature) ass. "had" being the operative word which leads me to the events of october 7th, 2008. the beauty of the pants was that they didn't have to be dry cleaned. i had washed and dried the little lovlies last weekend where they sat until my lazy self got down to the basement (translation until i had nothing clean left to wear the next day) to fetch them tuesday night. bryan was traveling so the little missy and i made the adventure downstairs. i plugged in my trusty iron, took the black beauties out and began to steam away. i noticed midway through the first side of the first leg that the steam had ceased and yet there was still plenty of water inside. in that same moment i noticed out of the corner of my eye little sparks coming out of the base of the chord. fantastic! so the chord was only half attached and i would have to carefully line it back up, spark spark, and back to slow motion ironing while keeping gabby away (which is a full time job in itself). I painfully get to the second leg when time stops and my vision zooms into the crotch like a paparazzi's camera on britney spears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I said to myself in a slow motion deep voice that sounded like the incredible hulk.......there was a huge hole in the crotch!!!! the horror, the tragedy, ohhhhh the pain!! not the pain of financial loss, got them on the sale rack for $14.99....not the pain of embarrassment because i had obviously walked around work the week prior with a hole in my crotch that people were probably too scared to tell me about. but the pain of one less garment to comfortably wear for 6 weeks! once i got myself out of the fetal position on the cold basement floor with my thumb in my mouth (i kid i kid) i got myself together and quickly washed my trusty khakis.

now i'm forced to wear d-d-d-dresses.....it pains me to even type that word...i HATE wearing dresses....i'm no tomboy, i actually loooove fashion and shopping, but i just don't feel myself in dresses unless i'm going to a wedding or something. but they are comfortable and don't require 1,349 waist adjustments a day so i'll just be the hot air balloon in a dress at least once a week for the next 45 days (hopefully less).

there, that took entirely way too long to say but you can see why i felt no justification in blogging about it. i could add other weekly follies like finally spending the time to put tons of new music on my ipod and when i plug my ipod in at work it's not there.......or almost stepping on a dead mole when putting my dog out in the morning......or i could really put it all out there and talk about the joys of hemorrhoids.....but again, way too hormonal and bitchy and annoying.

but now we're back to the reason i am truly a victim and can blog about it. one of my favorite shows is back on - dirty sexy money. love that show! love the music, the cast, the photography, the makeup, the fashion, the humor and the drama. i finally watched last week's episode on dvr last night after my husband kindly reminded me that i ruined his life by forgetting to record it this past wednesday while he was traveling. it was a great episode and lucy liu made her debut. i love her, she's on my top 10 list of most beautiful women and i love the characters she's played in the past and i think i'm going to like this one. so now i've got my dirty sexy itch on and was feenin for the episode i forgot to tape. i did not watch it online at work this morning, no not me! ok i did, but i'm a great multitasker and was able to do other things at the same time so don't judge me...it's friday and i can barely reach the keyboard for goodness sake! i'm watching, i'm emailing, i'm working on a spreadsheet, i'm taking calls, i'm watching, etc. i'm about half way through the episode when i finally hear lucy's character's name for the first time and i froze.....did they just say what i think they said?!? so i rewinded a few times and i couldn't tell if it started with an "l" or an "n".....no it couldn't be the name that i so carefully picked for my unborn daughter that i've never known anyone else to have......so i had to get on abc.com and search the character bios and there in front of me under her gorgeous picture it read "Nola Lyons".....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, i screamed silently in an even deeper voice than the incredible hulk but i can't think of any examples except the world's tallest woman who you all might not know (she was a celebrity in indiana). that's my baby's name! that's the name my hubby and i were so proud of! so for the record, mega baby's name is Nola Simone and I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST ABC!!!!! thank goodness i didn't respect my husbands wishes and keep it a secret! at least i have witnesses! but now of course when i'm on maternity leave and shopping at nordstrom and getting a strawberry banana ice storm in the cafe and some trendy gay man asks what my baby's name is and i tell him Nola, he'll say "oh like from dirty sexy money!"....so my beautiful little innocent angel will already be compared to the words dirty, sexy and money.....ok so maybe i kind of like that part in a dirty kind of way. tee hee. i guess at least the transsexual on the show isn't named Nola, not that i have anything against transsexuals but come on, dirty sexy and money are enough...throw transsexual into the mix and my kid will need therapy by the age of 2 months!

the end.

when daddy is away the girls will play

2008-10-06T14:58:00.008-04:00

big poppa was away this weekend so gabs and i broke all the rules!!! big momma isn't as mobile these days so you'll notice a common theme in these pictures....my bed!! all photos were documented with my blackberry because the camera was not within reach and i had to be discreet because little missy is a little camera shy these days.

let us begin.

friday night. i actually followed one rule and bathed the princess but that was only because i played tubby time hookey the night before. we quickly hop in mommy's bed to watch some sponge bob (thank God she is moving on from the high pitched screams of dora and diego!!) and a snack request is made. big momma hurls herself from the bed, opens the pantry and alas big poppa stopped at the Albanese Candy Factory on his way home from traveling the day before...score! once i stuffed 3 chocolate turtles in my mouth, making sure to finish them so there would be no evidence for gabby to see and ask about, i brought her 2 big gummy butterflies to eat in bed. between the sponge and the gummies she was completely content and let mommy finish reading book 3 of the twilight series!

saturday morning. hows come on school days i have to wake her up in the morning and on weekends she's up bright and chipper? this shot was taken with one eye open at some time in the morning when it was still dark outside. sponge bob on demand to the rescue! i got in another 30 minutes of shut eye....thank goodness for nap time!

saturday evening. by this point we had successfully gone to the grocery store where gabby stood in the cart and handed me the groceries to put on the belt....it was so cute and such a huge help for big momma! the cashier rewarded here with two snoopy stickers :) big momma also did 4 loads of laundry and my washer and dryer is in the basement so give me some love!! in addition i had a craving for egg salad so after unsuccessfully boiling the first 7 eggs, i got the second 5 right and made egg salad. gabby hated it. i force fed her 3 bites thinking it was just a strange taste at first and all 3 bites ended up on the ground and in leo's belly. this is a picture of gabby eating her dinner in front of the tv (rebels!!!)....she only ate the sunchips so of course she needed ice cream for dessert! by this point mommy has read the first 100 pages of book 4 in the twilight series!!

sunday morning. so we totally had a girls slumber party saturday night and stayed up until 10pm eating popcorn in bed and watching sponge bob, wonder pets, etc. (well mommy was reading book 4......finished up to 180 by 10pm!). i let gabby sleep in bed with me and she was so excited that she didn't even cry when i turned off the tv, flipped over and went right to sleep. she slept until 7:45 sunday morning, woo hoo! so of course she deserved a bagel in bed! she has a great bagel eating technique....she swirls her little index finger around the cream cheese and eats all of it until its gone and then takes a few bites of the bagel for prosperity and gives the rest to leo. note the laundry basket in the background as proof that i was somewhat useful this weekend!

we attempted to go to the store yesterday but we all had a little meltdown. gabby started crying because i wouldn't let her run around the house with her toothpaste, leo was whining because thats what he does, murphy was meowing because he wanted to eat or something crazy like that and tia was whining because she wanted to go into the basement and hunt for spiders. meanwhile i couldn't find a shirt that was long enough to cover my belly that didn't have a stain on it and i couldn't make my bed head into any cute form of a ponytail. so sweats back on for mommy, shoes off for gabby and back to tv watching and book reading. daddy got home at 4:36pm and we went to a cook out shortly after.

we had a great weekend, us girls....but it was more confirmation for me that 1. i could never be a stay at home mom (well unless i had an unlimited budget to shop and gallivant all day...and have my kids in p/t pre-school) and 2. i could never be a single mom period! i'll be the first mom in history that volunteers for visitation at the divorce proceedings...tee hee. but seriously i'm SO grateful for bryan, he's the best husband and daddy a girl could ask for.

p.s. i'm on page 400 of book 4 and that's only because i forced myself to stop reading!! book 4 is amazing!!! i can't recommend this series enough times!!

the end.

snl hasn't been this good since the 80's

2008-10-06T11:34:00.000-04:00

celebrities using their powers for good

2008-10-01T18:24:00.000-04:00

wordless wednesday

2008-10-01T09:30:00.001-04:00

mukiss

2008-09-24T09:20:00.004-04:00

my daughter calls music "mukiss". she likes practicing her opposites in the car (really just telling mommy what to do but i like to live in a dream world)...and says mukiss on, mukiss off....sun woof open, sun woof close. this continues until mommy starts twitching and pulls a snack out of the purse to change the focus.

ok, back to mukiss. i love mukiss. i wake up with a song in my head, i listen to mukiss in the car and all day at work. i love all kinds of mukiss. my first mukiss memories are playing my disco duck record over and over again. my mom has 8mm videos of me dancing around the house with a tutu on when i was around 2 or 3 and she said i would dance for hours. when i hear mukiss with a good beat i have a really hard time standing still....and if i am standing still i am dancing my ass off in my head with lights and a stage and a sparkly sweat band and everything.....i don't discriminate with my mukiss...just like the good stuff i can either shake my booty to or get chills from. i do have an aversion to classical because thats all my mom listens to and when she would wake us up in the morning to go to school she would blast it on our stereos so it just brings back bad memories..tee hee....but i do appreciate that it's beautiful mukiss. i love 80's alternative mukiss like the cure, the smiths, morrissey, depeche mode....i'll rock out to some cranberries, rage against the machine (especially while working out), lincoln park, gorillaz, everclear, the killers....love disco, funk and some classic rock....thanks to my hippie hubby i've added jam bands to my favs like phish, widespread panic, string cheese and derek trucks band....but above all...i must admit that my heart belongs to hip-hop and r&b.....from the soothing beats of john legend, robin thicke, anita baker and my favorite mary j blige to the medium core beats of beastie boys, cypress hill, snoop, tribe called quest, justin timberlake to the hard coreness of biggie smalls, tu pac, dmx, lil wayne, t pain, eminem.....and the list goes on.

my husband recently told me in the car, while i was bustin some rhymes and spittin some verses, "you know that your daughter will be a teenager one day"....meaning do you hear the lyrics to these songs? and thats the difference between he and i...he could tell you what each song that he listens to means and i just sing and dance...it's all about the beats to me. so i guess one day i will have to be a more responsible mom but until then i'm all about the five o'clock free ride!

ok, so getting to my inspiration for this blog.....this morning i'm driving into work and it's a beautiful morning so i have my window down and hot 96.3 blasting. i'm coming down capital which is a 4 lane one way street and i'm in the furthest left lane. the light turns yellow far away enough that i have to come to a quick stop and i'm the first in line at the red light. seconds before i stop, this song begins.....please enjoy....

let me paint more of the picture....sunny beautiful morning, window down, volume extremely high, business woman in a silver maxima with a car seat in the back (i did not subject my daughter to this, and for the record i never blast it when she's in the car because she makes me turn it off anyway) sitting totally straight up (because any recline in the seat sits the baby on my lungs) at the newly turned red light with "walk it out" pouring from the speakers.........i look to my left and standing right next to my car are three middle age white business people, waiting for the walk sign to illuminate, staring at me in complete shock. their faces screamed a combo of i'm still half sleeping so my reaction time to pretend that i'm not staring at this women is off + am i still dreaming? + is that music really coming from her car? + i kind of like it and am going to walk it out on this crosswalk....

the end

i'm checking out

2008-09-18T17:09:00.017-04:00

well, the time has come.....it's been 18 years of on again/off again but i'm finally going to end it for good. you've brought me joy, you've brought me pain. you were always there when i needed you in high school, college, summers, sick days, the miraculous invention of DVR....you even stuck by me through the writer's strike. my fingers ache to type these words but i must grow up, i must be a mother, i must be a wife. my head is spinning to think no more port charles, no more kelly's diner, no more metro court......yes, general hospital, it's time to say goodbye. but before i go, i need to say a formal adios to my favorite and not so favorite port charlesons....

sonny,

i know it's been hard for you leaving the mob life and all but you did it for your kids, even though you ended up signing your rights away.....well at least you have kate. i will keep your secret about her name really being connie falconari from brooklyn but you might want to watch her closely....i would predict that she will either have an affair with your ex-wife's husband or turn out to really be your estranged sister. don't ever stop throwing glasses across the room and could you please not re-marry carly for the fifth time? history has kind of proven itself there....

alexis,

we've been together since your days as julia on santa barbara 20 years ago. i really would like to know your beauty secrets because da-amn girl you look goot! i know you've had some rough years, you know with having a baby by a mob boss while being the district attorney and then only to find out that the same mob boss was screwing your daughter that you had given up for adoption when you were 16. i feel for you sister, i really do but come on....you're a smart cookie, i like a bad boy myself but to then marry the guy that kept your baby daddy's wifey in a torture chamber only to turn out to be your baby daddy's brother, aka your baby's uncle and then have a baby with him?! girl, thank goodness you dropped him but now you're sleeping with the man that held all of those innocent people hostage at the metro court and tortured your daughter? did your daddy not hug you?

carly,

wow, you've had so many different looks over the years....it's almost as if you were different people all together? and the new evil chic claudia looks just like you looked a few years ago?? still trying to figure that one out.....carly, i gotta be honest....you exhaust me sister....you're either crying, yelling, stomping, scheming or looking for sonny. you have amazing hair but i gotta tell you that you're just a little predictable. let's work on that!

oh spinelli,

it's because of you i think i've held on so long.....you breathed new life into port charles. these people didn't know how to laugh until you came along. i'm really surprised that the FBI hasn't snatched you up though...it's amazing how you are able to access security cameras with a few clicks on your laptop every single time you need to solve a crime with jason. i have to admit sometimes i lay in bed wondering what your nickname for me would be....you have so many great ones for the chicks of port charles like "the blonde one", "vixonella", "maxamista", etc.....you were my inspiration for "pregalicious"....i hope you approve!

diane,
girl you are fu-nny! you and alexis need to forget the losers you can't stop sleeping with and go on the road! hysterical!

jason,

you are hawt! and that's really all i gotta say about you because you really don't say much to begin with.....just keep on keepin on with your hawt-ness!

maxie,

you hurt my dear spinelli and i will find you and hunt you down and steal all of your fabulous clothes and accessories. i know where you live.....sleep with one eye open sister!

nikolas,

i know its hard being a greek/russian prince living alone in a castle on your own private island and having both wives die in the last year....but come on man, smile a little! at least you have your great looks and lots of dough!

sam,

you're a slut.

lukey baby,

i love ya. i'm so glad you and tracy have fallen in love....so can you please stop disappearing from town? you're going to give the old broad a heart attack. and if laura comes out of her catatonic state for the 5th time can you please be more considerate of tracy's feelings? we all know it's only a matter of time before laura slips back into veggie land. xoxo

so that's it, i've already stopped the scheduled recordings on my dvr....it's officially over. but wait, hold up wait a minute....oooh ah oooh ah ah (sorry a little go-go intermission there for anyone that caught that with DC roots).....don't you worry, i have replaced one immature addiction with another......i'm bringing back my ramona the brave days......i'm now on page 350 of book two of the Twilight series. i encourage you all to run not walk to your nearest bookstore and buy this 4 book series so we can have a slumber party, do our makeup, and talk about edward.....you'll know what i mean once you start reading. and the movie based on the first book Twilight comes out 11/21 so hurry up! my due date is 11/22 so i'll either be rollin in on a wheelchair, in labor or breastfeeding in the theatre but i won't miss it!

ch-ch-check it out!

the end.